Erika3sis [she/her, xe/xem] to menby • 7 days ago

Men Can't Masturbate (video essay by Owen Earl) — CW discussion of sexual violence, puberty, related topics

NSFW

Men Can't Masturbate (video essay by Owen Earl) — CW discussion of sexual violence, puberty, related topics

NSFW

Erika3sis [she/her, xe/xem] to menby • 7 days ago

I found this on West Lemmy, thought it was interesting, and figured I should share it here. This same channel has a number of other video essays about sex which I intend to listen to later, and might share here or anywhere else that seems relevant.

If you're a man reading this, know that I love you and want you to be cared for and comfortable in your own skin.

Sent from Mdewakanton Dakota lands / Sept. 29 1837

Treaty with the Sioux of September 29th, 1837

"We Will Talk of Nothing Else": Dakota Interpretations of the Treaty of 1837

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courier8377 [he/him, comrade/them]
·
7 days ago
commenting to remind myself to have a look when I have time

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A space for masculine folks to talk about living under patriarchy.

Detoxing masculinity since 1990!

You don’t get points for feminism, feminism is expected.

Guidelines:

Questions over blame
Humility over pride
Wisdom over dogma
Actions over image

Rules (expansions on the guidelines):

Mistakes should be learning experiences when possible.
- Do not attack comrades displaying vulnerability for what they acknowledge are mistakes.
- If you see good-faith behavior that's toxic, do your best to explain why it's toxic.
- If you don't have the energy to engage, report and move on.
- This includes past mistakes. If you've overcome extreme reactionary behavior, we'd love to know how.
- A widened range of acceptable discussion means a greater need for sensitivity and patience for your comrades.
- Examples:
  - "This is reactionary. Here's why."
  - "I know that {reality}, but I feel like {toxicity}"
  - "I don't understand why this is reactionary, but it feels like it {spoilered details}"
You are not entitled to the emotional labor of others.
- Constantly info-dumping and letting us sort through your psyche is not healthy for any of us.
- If you feel a criticism of you is unfair, do not lash out.
- If you can't engage self-critically, delete your post.
- If you don't know how to phrase why it's unfair, say so.
No singular masculine ideal.
- This includes promoting gender-neutral traits like "courage" or "integrity" as "manly".
- Suggestions for an individual to replace a toxic ideal is fine.
- Don't reinforce the idea the fulfillment requires masculinity.
- This also includes tendency struggle-sessions.
No lifestyle content.
- Post the picture of your new grill in !food (feminine people like grills too smh my head).
- Post the picture of the fish you caught in !sports (feminine people like fish too smdh my damn head).
- At best, stuff like this is off-topic. At worst, it's reinforcing genders norms..
- If you're not trying to be seen as masculine for your lifestyle content, it's irrelevant to this comm. If you are trying to be seen as masculine, let's have a discussion about why these things are seen as masculine.

Resources:

What is toxic masculinity?

*The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love by Bell Hooks

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