I'm not sure I've ever known and am not certain I will. I can be happy in a moment, but that goes away. Meds help me shrug it off, and I don't tend to dwell on existential shit like this for long, but like...I dunno that I was cut out for this world, yo.
Also this isn't a cry for help and im not particularly sad or upset right now, I was just walking one of the pups and thought to myself "if I can't be happy I'm gonna make sure these fuckers are."
I wasn't really happy until I started transitioning. So for some, that's the answer.
Came to make a similar comment.
My enby gender dysphoria manifested at puberty as a constant mild depression and I just lived with it for 20 years 'til I found out that hormone treatment can be just as effective for enbys like me as it is for binary trans folks.
Over a year on HRT and I now regularly experience happiness even without any obvious trigger. My baseline mood has improved so much that literally all my friends and family have noticed and commented on it.
I obviously can't say that this will work for everyone, but I hope my experience will be helpful for any enby eggs out there who haven't considered transitioning because "hormone therapy is for trans people". I let that line of thought keep me from the joy of becoming myself for far too long.