I'm not sure I've ever known and am not certain I will. I can be happy in a moment, but that goes away. Meds help me shrug it off, and I don't tend to dwell on existential shit like this for long, but like...I dunno that I was cut out for this world, yo.
Also this isn't a cry for help and im not particularly sad or upset right now, I was just walking one of the pups and thought to myself "if I can't be happy I'm gonna make sure these fuckers are."
not trying to be dismissive at all but what has helped me somewhat is realising it's an emotion like any other, not some state of being which can be attained permanently. it's naturally fickle and fleeting. obviously the cruelty of this world makes it a lot more difficult to seek out than it should be. but reframing it in that way helped me a bit.
Naw, not dismissive, I get it. Thanks for sharing!