Dear dames of Hexbear,
I'm a young man born in the early part of the last century. I think it's time to settle down. I'm looking for a redhead or brunette aged between 42 to 48 or 35 to 37. I really would like to get to know someone who boils my cabbage, so to speak. I don't say many words, so you could call that being a good listener. I enjoy going to see the horse races and listening to big bands on the radio. My mother, god please may she burn in hell, just passed away recently; so I desperately need someone who knows how to wash dishes and isn't all loud and opinionated about where and how I spit the chewing tobacco.
I'm a very passionate and loving man. For one reason or another, you're not going to get much sleep in the bed I share with my siblings, Thorn and Sema.
You MUST reply with several full body calotypes. I will NOT reply to anyone with a BMI over 11.
Dear Gentleman,
I’m a young, coquette Mademoiselle, thrice widowed, looking for a fine, upstanding husband to experience the joys of life with. As an accomplished housewife, I of course can provide everything a man needs in a household, including wiping your buttocks. I enjoy making dolls out of old fabric and Bakelite, but will keep it a secret to our neighbours to not make myself seem too intelligent, out of respect for my dear husband.
In return for my unendling love I expect a monthly wage of 300 Dollars, a clean-shaven face and body every single morning and I need you to drink the urine of a pregnant mare twice per day.
I’m longingly awaiting your answer, my dear future wif...I mean husband.
Pretty proud of that line. My shitposting has reached new levels.
EDIT: Just out of curiosity, I tried to find out if this is even feasible and well... it’s technically possible but you’d die if you tried to get proper levels. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/373359815_Did_Sythian_men_feminise_themselves_by_drinking_pregnant_mare%27_s_urine
Seems risky. What is the lads find out that my wifeuns can do things?
Hard pass
I guess you’re not man enough for my piss-drenched love.