These couches are hostile furnishings for the home. Designed with a center console that acts as a physical barrier between you and The Wife™. Complete with cup holders, motorized reclining action, and a storage compartment where you can keep your Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition collection.
There is no space on this couch for any form of physical intimacy.
Napper Crapper 9000. Everything you need to never leave the couch again.
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy: