The last couple weeks have been a whirlwind. I spent a few days being treated for stress at a local mental hospital. It consisted of mostly processed foods, and moderate doses of Ativan.
After three days of this, I was discharged as fully recovered. I cleaned out my locker at work, turned in my truck keys and went home. I’ve been going to an appointment a day, with mixed results. I am flat broke but my bills are paid thru the end of January. I lost my employer provided health insurance but was able to sign up for something thru ACA since it was open enrollment so at least I have non-employer tied health insurance so that’s cool. I have new work beginning soon.
The counselor I’ve been seeing put me on a low dose of Lexapro (they also wanted me on a an “as needed” dose of Xanax, but I have substance abuse issues so I’m not filling that one).
I’m not better yet, but I’m really trying to get there. I think I have a path in front of me. It’s time to follow it. My doctors think I need to lay off social media, but seeing as this den of iniquity is the only social media I’m on, I reckon I’ll be cutting back a fair amount but not leaving entirely.
If I have interacted with someone here negatively, I am truly sorry. I’m just beginning to sort myself out so I don’t know what to say beyond I am sorry. I’m not that person, and I’m trying to get more distance between me and that person. Please accept my apology and know I’m making an effort to sort myself the fuck out.
I’m cutting back on the processed garbage I feed myself. I’m working out. I’m seeing a counselor. I can’t say I quit social media as I occasionally post here still.. I’m making a conscious effort to curtail/end the mind altering substances I consume. Onward and upward, hopefully.
Anyway here’s Wonderwall, or whatever.
Thank you. My work didn’t start out that way, and mostly being non confrontational by nature, I’d just take on the load. It blossomed, like a wart, into 80+ hour weeks and antacid by the bottle.
One of my reasons for seeking counseling is learning how to set boundaries. Especially WRT work. I really need some practice here.
New job is same field as before, with no on-call/emergency work. Guaranteed in writing. Two dollars an hour more to start, slightly better bennies in general. Well defined roles, where my part to play is non-supervisory. Which is what I want- I just wanna show up, fix some shit, go home. Collect a check every week for my efforts.
Thanks again for the replies. I appreciate the time you took to say something. It meant a lot.