For example, Marmite Crumpets don't exist. You cannot buy them at the supermarket. To be clear: you can buy crumpets, you can buy marmite, you can buy butter; but you have to assemble them at home.
If you walk into a breakfast cafe, they will happily serve you sausage / egg / bacon / french toast / bubble / squeak (whatever that is). But no marmite crumpets. If you ask them to make it, they will give you a very strange look. It's not typically offered. It's something you just have to make at home.
It is unbuyable. Any tourist who comes to the UK to try a Marmite crumpet would need to bring a toaster or an oven with them, or quickly befriend a brit and hope that they have all the ingredients at home.
It's not a secret. You just can't have it.
*munches into crumpet thoughtfully, and salivates at the juicy savory delight, whilst staring at you pityingly and condescendingly*
Anyway, what's something that I could never experience unless I made it myself in your local?
A Twinkie weiner sandwich.
- Cook a hot dog
- Slice a twinkie halfway through the bottom longwise to get something like a hotdog bun
- Insert the cooked hotdog into newly created bun
- Squirt easy cheese along the length of the hot dog
- Dip in milk
- Eat
Weird Al invented this in 1989 in his movie UHF and it’s still not available in stores for some reason
I need to rewatch that movie (and seriously, how great of an actor is Weird Al?)
Buckwheat kasha, you won't find it even in a Slavic restaurant. It is a simple dish of cooked buckwheat and milk, with sugar added if one desires. Such a simple breakfast dish is sold nowhere to my knowledge.
I've never had buckwheat that wouldn't have funky smell/aftertaste. It just weird all the time. Probably trying wrong brand or IDK. I'm slavic so my ancestors ate shitton of buckwheat, though it was almost non existent in my childhood. And now it's weird ingredient I'm scared of :-D
Here's something that you can't buy outside of Italy: mozzarella. I tasted proper mozzarella in Tuscany and it's nothing like the shit labeled mozzarella sold in supermarkets around the world, and for a good reason: real mozzarella has a shelf life shorter than Trump's attention span.
You mean those watery packets of cheese I sometimes buy aren't supposed to taste like watered down kangaroo testicles?
Look at the plus side: at least you know what kangaroo testicles taste like.
it's nothing like the shit labeled mozzarella sold in supermarkets around the world
That's called mot-zer-eller, if I remember right.
Batmobiles. Lots of companies sell Batmobile toys, no companies sell Batmobiles.
Avocado shake, at least in the western world. Unless you come across one at an asian shake/milktea shop, and even then, that menu item is rare.
Coffee. I used to be a coffee fiend, I drank up to 12-13 cups a day, and only stopped because it was worsening my anxiety. I live in a coffee producing country and learnt how to make a good cup in an espresso machine, even got all the doodads to make the process standardized and get the exact same cup every time.
I can only drink coffee made by select hands now. Everything else tastes like jet fuel, and it's worse when travelling.
Don't ever, under any circumstances, drink motorway service station coffee in France. It tastes like battery acid even if you're used to shitty coffee.
That sounds like an intense relationship you have with coffee. I have to admit, 2-3 a day and I get palpatations and am unable to sleep. I rarely drink it for the flavour
Oh I needed it for college. I was impatient and pushed myself too hard during my last 2 years, some weeks I slept fewer than 10 hours collectively.
I've since cut it almost entirely, and because of that my usual cup gives me the jitters. I still love coffee and would like nothing more than having one in the morning and one in the afternoon, but my body can't take it anymore (nor can my mental health honestly). Aging sucks, lol.
