Hello users of Hexbear, there have been many changes and some drama the past few months.

The recent changes we've been making have been an attempt to create a more safe and welcoming environment for many demographics that have been overlooked in the past.

For any of our comrades that have been unintentionally hurt in this process, we apologise and hope to find a solution that accommodates as many people as possible while still meeting the needs of the marginalised groups who need a space like this the most.

The intent of this post is to provide a space for all users to air grievances with regard to the site. As well as provide suggestions for specific things that could be changed to address your grievance. Comments insulting the mod team or those without a specific means to address your problem may be removed. No commenter will be sitebanned, unless it clearly breaks the code of conduct.

  • dustbunnies [she/her, comrade/them]
    ·
    7 hours ago

    "... Your anger is not coming from a genuine place, so we shouldn't have to respect your anger nor interrogate why you feel so angry because your anger is a personal problem, not a symptom of a systemic issue."

    I don't know how to properly communicate my anguish over the idea that what I said came across this way. I am very, very, very sorry.

    I know frauddogg's anger came from a genuine place

    I respected null's anger and reacted to it with curiosity (because I knew it meant there were things I didn't understand!) and caution (because childhood abuse left me afraid of confrontation, and being flamed – rightfully or not – by a popular poster that everyone agrees with, especially for reasons I do not understand and would get flamed even more for asking about, would have devastating mental health consequences).

    my personal opinion is that persistent deep anger is both a personal problem and a systemic issue, regardless of its root cause:

    • personal, in that it can be harmful to your health and cause interpersonal friction, but those possible consequences are for each us to weigh for ourselves. sometimes the personal price of rage is worth it.
    • systemic, in that things shouldn't be so fucked that anyone ever feels that way.

    frauddogg had mentioned childhood abuse, beatings by racists, and had been tricked as a child to sign up for even more systemic abuse – fucking of course null was angry. who isn't angry reading about it?!?

    I celebrated null's anger in the lemmygrad masking struggle session that brought void to Hexbear.

    I am every bit as scared of getting yelled at by you or kristina or Nakoichi or Awoo or Dirt_Owl or Galaxy_Brain or literally any of you as I was scared of getting yelled at by frauddogg. I hate confrontation and I hate hurting or upsetting people who don't deserve it. none of you deserve it.

    I'm sorry.

    edit: apparently my list of prominent posters is full of POC??? I didn't know. I purposely chose some examples that are very unlikely to yell at me – like Dirt_Owl – to emphasize that getting yelled at by anyone is scary to me

    I have tried my very hardest at this and it is time to admit that I have utterly failed, and I am extremely, deeply sorry to anyone I have offended.

    • ratboy [they/them]
      ·
      1 day ago

      I could totally be reading this wrong but I feel I have to point it out.

      I am every bit as scared of getting yelled at by you or kristina or Nakoichi or Awoo or Dirt_Owl or Galaxy_Brain or literally any of you as I was scared of getting yelled at by frauddogg. I hate confrontation and I hate hurting or upsetting people who don't deserve it. none of you deserve it.

      It feels very weird to me that you are saying that you are afraid of being yelled at by POC on this site and named them specifically "because you hate confrontation". Ive never seen Awoo or AssortedBiscuits hand anyone's asses to themselves here even if they deserved it. Again I could totally me misinterpreting this but I might not be the only one and could be good to reread it and see why it might make people feel offput.

      Edit to add: I know you're autistic, me too. This is less a thing to make you feel bad and just an observation, meant to be helpful