There's a tendency among people in general to misgender trans women and specifically trans women by referring to them with singular 'they' despite the fact that other pronouns are clearly listed at the top of their profiles. I had actually been reading a few posts on a different site today by trans women I know being affected by this same phenomenon, which was one of the reasons I was particularly peeved.
I think that in the digital era it's very inexcusable to get the wrong pronouns for someone: you're always just one or two mouse clicks away from knowing someone's pronouns (since they're always in someone's profile 99% of the time). I understand that you might not have meant anything by it! I myself was affected by a bunch of internalized transmisogyny for some time
I don't mind the necropost :) I actually just posted about this again like yesterday so I didn't even realize you were responding to my old comment!
Anyways I understand your concerns and I've formulated my opinion based on those facts (but honestly bullet point #2 is pretty silly: in that case it's pretty clearly on the onus of the person being gendered to update their pronouns).
I get that it is a shame because yeah people can be wrong but I feel like it's a bit of a case of weaponized incompetence: 'oh I didn't know saying that was offensive so I'm under no obligation to actually watch what I'm saying.'
Additionally ofc your argument doesn't address the root problem which is why I'm concerned about this issue: people At Large tend to misgender trans women by calling them "they." I think it's more important to adopt a culture that pressures people into making sure they're gendering people correctly than to allow offensive speech (which misgendering is) to persist.
There's a tendency among people in general to misgender trans women and specifically trans women by referring to them with singular 'they' despite the fact that other pronouns are clearly listed at the top of their profiles. I had actually been reading a few posts on a different site today by trans women I know being affected by this same phenomenon, which was one of the reasons I was particularly peeved.
I think that in the digital era it's very inexcusable to get the wrong pronouns for someone: you're always just one or two mouse clicks away from knowing someone's pronouns (since they're always in someone's profile 99% of the time). I understand that you might not have meant anything by it! I myself was affected by a bunch of internalized transmisogyny
for some time
deleted by creator
I don't mind the necropost :) I actually just posted about this again like yesterday so I didn't even realize you were responding to my old comment!
Anyways I understand your concerns and I've formulated my opinion based on those facts (but honestly bullet point #2 is pretty silly: in that case it's pretty clearly on the onus of the person being gendered to update their pronouns).
I get that it is a shame because yeah people can be wrong but I feel like it's a bit of a case of weaponized incompetence: 'oh I didn't know saying that was offensive so I'm under no obligation to actually watch what I'm saying.'
Additionally ofc your argument doesn't address the root problem which is why I'm concerned about this issue: people At Large tend to misgender trans women by calling them "they." I think it's more important to adopt a culture that pressures people into making sure they're gendering people correctly than to allow offensive speech (which misgendering is) to persist.