I like to keep it positive when it comes to other people. But I can be very hard on myself. I don't know why I do it. I guess I'm depressed. Normally I use humor as a coping mechanism but that's not really working right now.

I haven't really been posting here much lately. I just couldn't get the energy to log on or even have an idea worth sharing. But I do really like this place and I want to share some positive energy because I'm tired of feeling destructive. So, hey, you reading this, I like you. You are valuable. You are worth something to yourself and others. I guess this is kind of an "imposition" because I'm asking you to be happy when I'm not. But it will make me happy to know you are okay. I care about you all. I'm just feeling down and the only thing I ever had that picked me up was other people. I can't do it on my own, despite my stubborness insisting I can. I guess that's why I was always inclined towards socialism; I knew I couldn't go it alone and caring for other people was the only way I could legitimately care about myself. "Rational self interest" and all that jazz.

So, hey, if you're going through something, or you know somebody going through something, you can reply in this thread or DM me. I'm not a licensed therapist or anything like that but maybe it would help if you just typed out a few words, as I am doing right now. Helps keep the thoughts in order.

The internet is the worst place ever created but it's places like Hexbear that somewhat redeem this whole sorry enterprise. I have seen so much care and kindness here. Y'all give me hope. I'm kinda ranting but I just wanted you to know that after 3 years this was the only place I could go to where I could tell my dumb jokes and indulge in serious conversation about theory and politics without bad faith. It's nice! And it's refreshing. Keep doing what you're doing.

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