Obviously this state of affairs can't continue, I need to change my email address, but there are a couple of problems with that:

1. So much of my life is tied to this account. I have an android phone (so all my contacts are stored with google), I use chrome as my browser, it's the backup email for my work/school email, I've used it to sign in to so many random websites, etc. I mean, you know how google is.

2. How do I even find an email address I like? So say I take the plunge, figure out how to transfer contacts, change everything else that needs changing. The number of already-taken gmail accounts must be astronomical. How do I find one that's not like "69420communist_theydy42069" or something equally ridiculous?

Halp pls.