Sitting at work rn on break and having a rough one. Since lockdown has started, it feels like all I do is wake up for class, go to work, then sleep. I truly feel like I am not existing for myself, and I have never felt more alienated from the people and things I love. I try to play music to produce something just for myself, and that helps, but I always have the crushing dread of knowing what a horrible oppressive system we live in. My tiny Canadian city had an antimask rally today and I honestly think that was the final straw for my hopefulness. I just feel like all I'm allowed to do in this world is be a consumer , everyone seems to suck and despite me being typically optimistic, I truly think we may be helpless now.
moved to a remote shack and became a subsistence farmer
I unironically think about you a lot because you live the life that I wish I could live, even if it isn't perfect.
being able to sort of escape the mode of production is pretty neat but you have to hate living in the world so much that you're willing to shorten your life expectancy to do so. i am
I mean I already shorten my life expectancy via cigarettes and alcohol exactly because I'm alienated from my labor. Not to mention all the disgusting processed/fast food I eat because i don't have time to cook real meals because I have to drive to Virginia or wherever at 5am to work 12 hours
walk into the woods
I wish it was that easy.
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