Sitting at work rn on break and having a rough one. Since lockdown has started, it feels like all I do is wake up for class, go to work, then sleep. I truly feel like I am not existing for myself, and I have never felt more alienated from the people and things I love. I try to play music to produce something just for myself, and that helps, but I always have the crushing dread of knowing what a horrible oppressive system we live in. My tiny Canadian city had an antimask rally today and I honestly think that was the final straw for my hopefulness. I just feel like all I'm allowed to do in this world is be a consumer , everyone seems to suck and despite me being typically optimistic, I truly think we may be helpless now.
Anti mask protest? ever consuming dystopia? MAN I'm just trying to grill over here! But in all seriousness take the fuckin grill pill, find a hobby find something to distract you from it all, something that makes you happy. For me its buying model trains, and playing video games. I just enjoy having cool trains, just bought a Budd Metroliner model, my favorite Amtrak train. I don't even have a layout yet, I just think they're cool. And as for games, they are an EASY distraction from it all, just find a game you like and is fun to play. I got Fallout 76 on a sale and its pretty good now. Just make sure its a game that won't stress you out, like dark souls, a fun casual game you can just enjoy, like A Hat In Time, that games cute and fun as hell!
But of course it doesn't have to be either of those things, it can be any hobby, just find something that brings you joy!