Healthy, non-abusive, relationships are possible! Not sure if that's what you're getting at when you talk about other people's relationships. When it comes to having trouble finding people, I think it boils down to working on yourself while trying to join some kind of good group of people. When you're in either a political organisation, a volunteer group, or some kind of recreational association, you meet all sorts of people, but also lots of well adjusted and cool people you already have something in common with. From there, if you come off like you have your shit mostly together (plus you mentioned you are conventionally attractive, so that helps) I feel the rest just falls into place. Not sure if you were asking for dating advice but there you go lol

edit: the benefit of this approach to me is that it felt more organic and indirect, unlike dating apps which feel more superficial, forced, and masculine (?) if that makes sense