you are not wrong in so far as the mainstream culture in USA and other similar places, so much of it exists within a realm of domination and seduction over any real connection

this makes finding intimacy very difficult within the mainstream because most cis folks (and a good chunk of 'accepted' queers) are just going to be expecting that type of transactional sexual relationship at first

I'd recommend seeking out people and groups that value non-sexual intimacy or emotional openness, since you are much more likely to find others interested in actually connecting with you as a person, and the community around those people will increase your chances of encountering intimacy that might become sexual if the feels are right