Permanently Deleted
Potentially triggering question-
How do transwomen feel about periods? I remember reading some trans blogger felt dysphoria over hers, which blew my mind because it is the one thing I hate most about being cis. It's the worst pain I've ever dealt with, worse than bad tooth decay never broke anything), and it has made me anemic my whole life., but would you want to have periods, even if you could have a uterus without them?
tbh i feel like i have periods. i have random bouts of bloating once every month. purely intestinal stuff. could legit not eat anything and still bloat.
but yeah nah id go with having a cis body any day of the week, bloody periods and pain and so on. already have plenty of pain myself, whats a little more
literally what is gender supposed to be?
ive never really found a good way to ask this question. as i understand it, being trans is more or less "feeling like" a different gender than others perceive you "should" be, possibly with or possibly without the condition of dysphoria which is something i do fully understand.
but i dont quite get what it means to feel like a gender. i dont feel like a man. i look like a man, im told i am a man, im perfectly comfortable being considered a man. but i couldnt describe to you what that means. i feel like id be just as comfortable being considered a woman. sometimes people assume I'm a woman from the back and the only reaction that elicits from me is mild amusement. i dont really think of women as being any measurably different from me as far as mindset. how would i know what it feels like to be a woman? how would i define myself as trans?
am i unusual for not feeling attached to a specific gender? I've always kind of thought that attachment to gender is something taught to children, not something innate, and that's why I've never particularly felt it. I don't understand it at all.
thats a fairly common cis thing tbh. some say its one of the biggest definitions of being cis.
for me, a binary trans woman, i felt very off during puberty. it just didnt feel right. i got suicidal as hell and i couldnt really grok that the reason why was because i was trans. i knew before puberty that id rather be a girl but that was a very abstract concept that didnt matter much to me at the time, kids honestly didnt look that different. but when puberty hit, i hated everything happening to my body. none of it felt right. looking more and more like a guy disgusted me and all the adults in sex ed were just saying things like 'its normal to be weirded out by puberty or feel uncomfortable with it' and i internalized that maybe what i was feeling was normal and typical of guys. like of course, all guys hate getting hairier and more muscular and stuff! so i kept with the puberty for a while and all it did was push me further and further into depression until i snapped, attempted suicide, and got on hrt shortly after when i became an adult.
i think there is definitely some sort of chemical component to hrt and being (binary) trans, even when i was just 3 months on hrt i felt immensely better despite only looking a bit different.
anyways, back to your question: well, i dont really know what its like to 'feel' like a woman. that feels very abstract to me. i just know i love estrogen and how it makes me feel and how it affects my body and mood. i feel weird looking in a mirror and seeing masculine things that arent typical on women, because i know that my first puberty fucked that up. idk, its a bit like being a cis woman that grew a beard or something. its normal in our society to get that sort of thing treated. and no one second guesses that it is disconcerting.
i sometimes would think to myself before transition 'would i get on hrt if i had been on an island by myself and never knew what a man or woman was?' and i had such a hard time answering that question. now, id definitely say yes, even if i had never known about women or men, the mental effects of estrogen are just better suited for me.
for me, the reasoning behind wanting to be treated like a woman and being named like a woman is relatively simple. i look like one now and its just far easier to deal with. i dont like being referred to as a man because that implies someone sees something masculine about me, which is a personal pet peeve of mine, i feel like its like pointing at a woman and saying 'look, she has a beard!' its just rude.
i felt very off during puberty. it just didnt feel right.
All of this sounds to me like you're describing one way gender dysphoria manifests, surely? But as far as I understand, considering that to be the way trans people are defined is supposed to be bad.
im not saying thats how all trans people feel, just how i feel. other trans people feel things in different ways, and there are different ways it manifests for different people.
i like this idea, a lot. if you're fine with being pinned, i wouldn't mind using this thread. just let me know! :trans-heart:
