• happybadger [he/him]
    ·
    4 years ago

    CALLING ALL PATRIOTS

    We are it. The last bulwark of democracy. Each of us has been ordained by god to give our lives in the struggle against communism. As Red China exterminates an entire race and threatens us with military invasion, we must resist by ANY means necessary. Before I go underground I have prepared five tactics that will defeat the enemy:

    1. Put dog poo in a bag and put it on the doorstep of the forbidden palace. Then light the bag on fire. When Chairman Xi steps on it to put the fire out, his shoe will be covered in poo.

    2. Write a note that says "踢我" and put it on a PLA soldier's back so people kick him.

    3. Say "free hong kong" on World of Warcraft.

    4. Boycott all products from China except those with parts from China that were assembled elsewhere or raw materials from China or industrial machinery from China.

    5. Go to a Chinese buffet and eat all of the crab and when they look at you keep eating crab