No for real, I'm bored. Ask me stuff lol.

I'm trying to not lose my mind debugging this stupid Android app. I'm jobless and don't know what I'm doing with my life.

Recently got diagnosed with ASD at 40. I'm severely depressed and suicidal. I listen to shitty music, read theory and pretend I understand it, oh and I'm super hungover because I suffer from alcoholism. I'm an open book so please don't doxx me <3.

  • GriffithDidNothingWrong [comrade/them]
    ·
    9 months ago

    Share as much as your comfortable with if you want to. It doesn't bother me and no one here would make fun of you over it. I like pretty much all the games you listed. Did you know the creator of Suikoden has a new game coming out next year?

    It helps me to find things to look forward to sometimes. Whatever's happening right now I'd hate to miss complaining about how much that disappointed me and boring people with in depth comparisons to previous games and why Suikoden 2 was the peak of the series. It sounds like your doing what you need to do and have caring people around you. I'd try not to go down the road of thinking about how your life could have been, it doesn't lead anywhere. Maybe things would have been better, maybe you would have been so productive that Elon Musk stole and misused your ideas to turn himself into AM and torture you for eternity. There's no way to know.

    I have a bad tendency to lay awake and think of all the things I've done wrong and its a long list, I was the worst kind of addict for a long time and I hurt a lot of people, so now I try to make myself think of something I did right when I catch myself doing it, it helps sometimes. Maybe try that.

    Be careful with the booze, my man. Its so easy to think everythings okay until one day its suddenly not. If you've got it under control why not try stopping for a few days? It doesn't matter if you can't keep with it, its worth a try, maybe the next time you can go longer. What positive benefit are you really getting from it?

    Please, please don't think I'm trying to lecture or judge you. I would never do that. You've just said a lot of things that really resonated with me and I thought I'd share some of the things I tell myself. Sorry for the rambling post.

    Tldr: I love you stalin-heart

    • roux [he/him, comrade/them]
      hexagon
      ·
      9 months ago

      Did you know the creator of Suikoden has a new game coming out next year?

      I sure did but didn't know it has a Steam page until now. Wishlisted! I wanna do another playthrough of the first 2 games at some point.

      I am actually doing little checks with my mental state for times when like my wife takes the kids somewhere and tagging along, which isn't something I normally do since I'm super introverted but I really don't want to be alone with my thoughts that much right now. It's been pretty dark lately. I might start trying to think of things to look forward to and what I've done right. My therapist gave me a Locus of Control homework paper that is all about what I can and can't control and how I can phrase things more positively. I can roll your suggestions into that maybe?

      Be careful with the booze, my man.

      One of the last times I got real drunk, I poured the rest of the bottle out the next morning. It was a horrible hangover and really for nothing. I just wanted to get smashed. I have a case of Founder's Centennial IPA and once that's gone I'm gonna probably focus on not coming up with excuses to drink. I donno. I think realistically reserving it to having a beer or 2 at the brewery with friends is a good goal?

      Please, please don't think I'm trying to lecture or judge you. I would never do that. You've just said a lot of things that really resonated with me and I thought I'd share some of the things I tell myself. Sorry for the rambling post.

      You are perfectly fine, homie. I tend to do a wall of text style comments on Reddit and that carried over to Lemmy so I am not in any position to say anything lol. I appreciate you taking the time with me.

      I think I am gonna overshare more on here and Lemmygrad going forward. I have a lot of shit on my mind and no one to really talk to. My wife's eyes glaze over whenever I bring up keyboards or theory... I don't think I blame her though.