I went to a gay nightclub and most of the night I just stood there not talking to anyone (for the third night in a row). But when I was about to leave I managed to compliment a guy’s top. He said thanks then we didn’t really interact anymore.

As I was leaving, I noticed him standing outside, so I went and asked if he was waiting for a ride (to make sure he was alright I guess? I don’t really know why I did it tbh). He said yeah a friend was coming to pick him up.

But then he asked me for my Snapchat or Instagram, I told him I could give my phone number (I don’t have either of those apps) and he handed me his phone to put my number in the messages app and message myself so I get his number. I told him my name and he told me his.

Then I just sort of went back to my car and left. I have no idea what to do next. We didn’t really talk or anything, everything I said above is the entirety of my interactions with him. So we don’t know anything about each other.

So what do I do? Did I walk away too early? What do I text him? Try to get to know him over text? How would I even start that? Or just ask to meet up at a coffee shop or something? How do I not sound desperate? Do I need to wait 3 days or whatever social rule bullshit exists? Did he just exchange numbers to humor me to get me to go away?

I have literally no experience with any of this, but I do have crippling social anxiety.

  • bubbalu [they/them]
    ·
    1 year ago

    Especially since you led with a compliment, I think it is okay to be pretty direct/forwards esp. for/with gay men. ReadFanon put a good framework for thinking about the whole thing. You can also say something like "Nice meeting u last night, I think ur really cute/handsome/hot! Do you want to get a drink/go dancing/get coffee sometime?" as your first text if its still within a few days.