I've been holding off on making this post because I didn't want to distract from the trans issues that have been front and center on this site recently or be accused of concern trolling or tone policing. But since those issues don't show any sign of being resolved any time soon, I'm just going ahead.
I don't want to be the cis equivalent of a white person who gets big mad about being called a mayo or whatever. But it seems to me that the intention behind the term "cissie" is that A. it creates an equivalent to the t-slur to turn around on cis people and B. is intended to trigger the toxic masculinity of cis dudes by essentially calling them "sissies".
Fortunately, I'm not very invested in being a "masculine" guy. Unfortunately, I had a lot of experience having my masculinity policed growing up for being too effeminate, not liking the things I was supposed to like, being too emotional, being "f*ggy", you name it. While I definitely don't think it's intentional on the part of our trans comrades, being called a "cissie" in a hostile manner (as with some of the "CISSIES MAD CISSIES MAD" posts that go around this site) really triggers those feelings.
For me, it feels like being a white person who is called a mayo, except I actually spent my childhood being pelted with jars of mayo.
Edit: At the advice of @breadandcircuses, I want to be crystal clear that this not a call out post or or an attempt to tone police anyone. Making fun of cis people is cool and good. I react badly to a specific term and this is the fault of patriarchy, not our trans comrades. I posted here in c/menby because I know that there's a lot of chapos who deal with similar issues
As a cis white man who has been in these sorts of circles for a long time I have learned to let it roll off my back. If someone is blaming cis straight white people for something...who cares. It literally does not hurt me. They are the ones who are hurting and they are venting that pain. We are so fucking privileged we can take it. If someone calls me a cissie or a mayo or says all cis people are bad or all men are bad or literally whatever I do not care. I keep it to myself and I fucking listen. At the very least by shutting up and letting them bash you you might learn something about their struggle. It's not that your personal struggle doesn't matter,it does and it's valid. But your personal struggle with being called names by someone who is a real victim does not matter and should not matter to that person in that moment.
So just take it and listen. It actually does not hurt you. You are not the victim in this specific instance. Being punched up at does not make you a victim.
Not really what I was talking about, comrade
I understand what you were talking about. I was bullied for being "not manly", for being different, for being whatever the non-masculine pejorative word of the day was, was called all sorts of shit I didn't deserve for years growing up to the point I tried to kill myself a few times. I have very real trauma associated with that language too. I get it.
Yes, you are a victim of that language. You are a victim of toxic masculinity. So am I. But combating it by telling people who are punching up at you to stop doing that is not the way. Toxic masculinty is not the fault of our trans or enby comrades who are venting their trauma and trying to find their space. It's not the fault of our women comrades who are afraid of men because of trauma they have. Asking them and others in similar situations to stop venting and processing that trauma however they need to is not going to help solve the issue. You and I share this issue with them in some small way because ALL of us have been hurt by toxic masculinity.
Go fight toxic masculinity instead of fighting your comrades who are struggling with you.
(Editing to remove some potentially problematic coded language, sorry)
I hope it was clear that I'm not trying to fight anyone or nor did I ask anyone to stop doing anything. I thought this would be the appropriate comm to talk about how toxic masculinity affects me in this particular instance and brings up stuff that was traumatic. I don't think essentially saying "shut the fuck up, you shouldn't even bring it up, just bury your negative feelings " is really as helpful as you think it is.
I'm not even saying to not bring it up or to bury it. I just don't think this is the way to talk about it. Your post reads like "I'm not a racist but". I'm saying that if the trans enby community on this site wants to use the word "cissies", then they should, and we should support them in that. Especially considering all the stuff going on right now, I think that bringing it up in this way at this time is not the way. That's all. I think this post does more harm than good.
As I mentioned, I had been holding off on making this post, because of that exact reason, but the issues with transphobia have been going on for a long time and will likely continue going on for the foreseeable future. I've been as clear as I know how about my intentions with this post