For me, it's messing up/ doing something socially unacceptable or hurting someones feelings without noticing. In my life I've done this many times, and the times it happened the worst were when I was having a lot of fun, and had no idea I was doing something wrong. I'm the king of miscommunication.

I had a long history of this, especially as a kid, and because of it for a long time whenever I was having a lot of fun in a social situation I'd suddenly remember past times when I messed up, and then I'd go down in a self-doubt spiral and it'd kill my fun and start acting weird.

    • QuillQuote [they/them]
      ·
      4 years ago

      It's more the fear of just harming someone than not pleasing everyone. I just really hate negatively impacting folks

        • QuillQuote [they/them]
          ·
          4 years ago

          Oh that too, I'm absolutely terrified of that happening both because of trauma from being lied to in one situation in particular, and because in general if people lie it destroys the effectiveness of that coping strategy. Up above my fear was that I wouldn't notice doing something wrong because I'm often not very self-aware in the moment and so rely on feedback from others in those moments.

          I get people don't wanna be rude sometimes, but for the love of god if someone asks for honesty be honest Q_Q