Rejection Sensitivity is not a stranger to many or even most of us, and with a lot that has been going on with this site recently, including the user who was sitebanned shortly after a highly visible post about exactly this issue. Really really not a good look, and we want you all to know that we're aware of that. (just as a side note, that ban was made by the sitemods/admins not by us ND mods and I don't know much about it yet, but rest assured we're gonna check into it)

we absolutely understand the fear and apprehension many of you might be feeling. I personally have felt it too, and since that post a few days ago it's been constantly on my mind.

We want this community to be a place where ND comrades can come together to share in what brings them joy, support each other, and feel comfortable expressing themselves, and right now it's clear that we're not there yet.

So we are taking action to improve the atmosphere and culture to ensure that ND comrades don't need to fear being ousted from one mistake, bad take, or 'off' social interaction. We will do everything we can to keep that from happening in our community, and in pursuit of that here's a few important announcements/ ideas that we'd really like feedback on:

Important community stuff!!

First and most important: we want everyone here to feel safe and comfortable to post and participate in this community. I know there's been a bit of fear lately that even just one simple misunderstanding or 'off' social interaction will get you banned and slandered. We just wanted to make it crystal clear that Fakename and I will not let that be the case in this community. I understand very well how it feels for a social engagement to be going great and then suddenly its gone sour and it's your fault and you don't even know why everyone's upset, and then without being given a chance to even learn what the problem was or grow, are cast out. That won't fly here. You won't be cast aside for one or even multiple mistakes so long as it's clear you're doing your best to improve. Obviously, this isn't a blank check for people to be abusive or hateful and get away scot-free, this policy can extend only as far as good faith. If you have any concerns or questions feel free to ask in the comments or dm me!

Second, we've been getting suggestions that we should find ways to help users be able to spotlight their interests, as we've done here with this megathread, one other idea I had is to explicitly state that if you make a post about your interest and you want it spotlit, just @QuillQuote or @Fakename_Bill in a comment in the thread and we'll pin it!

My thought is that, if any of y'all are like me and could accidentally write an essay when I got going about what I'm passionate about, we could have a permanent rotating pinned thread that's essentially a 'daily' interest megathread, and it stays up until someone posts a new one (or 12 hours, or whatever feels right)

Lastly, I want to hear what you all would think of a more robust tagging system of posts, such as how [effort post] is commonly used, but maybe for stuff like [support] when you need to vent and want support, [venting] for when you need to vent but don't want anyone to engage with it, stuff like that. I think this would be helpful for a number of reasons, but mainly because it will normalize being able to directly ask for what you need. It's easy to imagine someone making a post to vent or complain about something but is not wanting or comfortable with people giving advice or pitching solutions. Another thing I think this would help is it would help remove some ambiguity and also set a tone, which I personally find very helpful. Importantly, I want to clarify I'm specifically not saying tag every post, if it's not properly tagged the post is getting removed. You don't have to tag your post that's a bit or a meme or a random thought you wanted to post, but simply to encourage people to use this system when they feel it's appropriate for them.

I think it's okay for someone to explicitly asked to be upvoted, or for support, or to feel comfortable saying "I stayed up all night making this" because you stayed up all night making something that, while it isn't anything special in the scheme of things, is something that you are proud of, and if you all agree I think we should work together to make that a reality in this community!

  • QuillQuote [they/them]
    hexagon
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    edit-2
    3 years ago

    Saying again because it can't be said enough: neither Bill nor I know what we're doing, we're just trying our best, so please help us make this community something awesome cause we can't do that without you :Care-Comrade:

  • FDR [none/use name]
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    edit-2
    3 years ago

    As long as you only perma ban and don’t hand out temp or comm only bans you are going to have this issue of people being fearful of being perma’d because of 1 deviation from their normal positive posting

    • QuillQuote [they/them]
      hexagon
      ·
      edit-2
      3 years ago

      Agreed. It's not ideal at the moment

      As I understand it there's no temp-bans on the site yet but they are to be added soon, until then we'll fight for transparency and push back when unfair bans are dished out, or more accurately, fight for patience and discussing the problem with users instead of having such a hair trigger, but it's complicated because we don't want to provide a cudgel for bad faith st*pidpol raiders concern trolling. All I can say is we'll do our best, and if you ever see something that concerns you please bring it to my or Bills attention.

  • Ness [he/him]M
    ·
    3 years ago

    Does anyone know why notaroboticfish was banned? When i look at the modlog it keeps glitching, that or i just dont know how to read it

    • Robofish123456789 [none/use name]
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      edit-2
      3 years ago

      I am this user and I want to avoid admins prejudicing people against me as they may have so far by outright lying about things that I have said, so I will show you what I actually got banned for. Maybe this is pointless anyway because this account will get banned in a few minutes, but whatever.

      This exchange is what I got banned for: https://hexbear.net/post/76456/comment/816525

      This is my ban appeal: https://hexbear.net/post/76970

      Note that I literally never at any point argued that Trans women are not women nor that they should not be able to participate in women's sports. However, this is the reason that admins have given for banning me along with bad faith and concern troll accusations because I called the user a bully towards me. Apparently I am not allowed to feel that a user is bullying me otherwise I am a concern troll?

      I ended up making a vent post on Reddit which explains my thoughts in greater detail here: https://www.reddit.com/r/autism/comments/l573k0/rant_incoming_also_politics_warning_does_anybody/

      If you want to still call me a transphobe, that is fine, however I want you to do it based off of things I have actually said, not the lies the admins have spread.

    • QuillQuote [they/them]
      hexagon
      ·
      edit-2
      3 years ago

      No It's not just you it was a bit glitchy for me too but I got it to work by copypasting their name as it appears on their account in the filter by user box. Also make sure you're on /all when you go to the modlog or you'll just be looking at the !neurodiverse@hexbear.net modlog, and they were sitebanned for transphobia related to the trans athletes discussion that happened recently, but I think this could be a case of education and rehabilitation and not banishment. There may well be additional context I'm not aware of that makes the ban a good call, I'm just not familiar enough with the details to say. But I'm definitely going to get to the bottom of it, that's what's motivated a lot of the above post.

      • Ness [he/him]M
        ·
        3 years ago

        the ban probably scared a lot of ND comrades, they seemed to be banned for a lack of social awareness even though they already intended to leave the site. rule 2 is that users should assume that ND comrades are acting in good faith, and for someone to be banned for acting in "bad faith" makes this place feel hostile when sitemods do this

        • QuillQuote [they/them]
          hexagon
          ·
          edit-2
          3 years ago

          I thought the same, it definitely made me uncomfortable, and I was told directly by a couple comrades as well. And I think that's pretty fucked, this should have been handled better, and we're going to do what we can to make sure it is in the future. At the very least involving the modteam here in the discussion when it comes to stuff like this is a must. Bill and I are on a mission to make this a place where folks don't have to be afraid of stuff like this, but also a place where we're still called on our mistakes in order to be able to learn and grow, not to mock and shun

          • Robofish123456789 [none/use name]
            ·
            edit-2
            3 years ago

            I am this user and I want to avoid admins prejudicing people against me as they may have so far by outright lying about things that I have said, so I will show you what I actually got banned for. Maybe this is pointless anyway because this account will get banned in a few minutes, but whatever.

            This exchange is what I got banned for: https://hexbear.net/post/76456/comment/816525

            This is my ban appeal: https://hexbear.net/post/76970

            Note that I literally never at any point argued that Trans women are not women nor that they should not be able to participate in women's sports. However, this is the reason that admins have given for banning me along with bad faith and concern troll accusations because I called the user a bully towards me. Apparently I am not allowed to feel that a user is bullying me otherwise I am a concern troll?

            I ended up making a vent post on Reddit which explains my thoughts in greater detail here: https://www.reddit.com/r/autism/comments/l573k0/rant_incoming_also_politics_warning_does_anybody/

            If people want to still call me a transphobe, that is fine, however I want you to do it based off of things I have actually said, not the lies the admins have spread.

      • Robofish123456789 [none/use name]
        ·
        edit-2
        3 years ago

        I am this user and I want to avoid admins prejudicing people against me as they may have so far by outright lying about things that I have said, so I will show you what I actually got banned for. Maybe this is pointless anyway because this account will get banned in a few minutes, but whatever.

        This exchange is what I got banned for: https://hexbear.net/post/76456/comment/816525

        This is my ban appeal: https://hexbear.net/post/76970

        Note that I literally never at any point argued that Trans women are not women nor that they should not be able to participate in women's sports. However, this is the reason that admins have given for banning me along with bad faith and concern troll accusations because I called the user a bully towards me. Apparently I am not allowed to feel that a user is bullying me otherwise I am a concern troll?

        I ended up making a vent post on Reddit which explains my thoughts in greater detail here: https://www.reddit.com/r/autism/comments/l573k0/rant_incoming_also_politics_warning_does_anybody/

        If you want to still call me a transphobe, that is fine, however I want you to do it based off of things I have actually said, not the lies the admins have spread.