Is there seriously a more useless gadget out there or is there even the potential to invent something of less use? I am not new to this view, but until very very recentlly I thought that salad spinners was for people too lazy to toss their own salads, so they'd just use something that spins real fast to get the job done. At least that'd be something right? Who doesn't hate eating a salad that has a giant singular globule of RANCH smack dab in the middle of the salad just sitting there some dumb meteorite that never got word it was supposed to explode on impact (or in the air shortly before) and now just sits there with no crater or anything. But no, apparently that's not what salad spinners are for. I'm not sure if I've ever had the privilege of interacting with such a utilitarian Swiss Army Knife of kitchen. . So according to my sources (which I trust very much) the official function of a salad spinner is to dry off th egreens after you wash them. HOLY SHIT, THATS IT?!??! I've never had that problem in my entire life.. Is your lettuce some kind of crystallize lattice structure with microscopic pockets that can trap and hold water realllllly tighly? I've seriously never had this issue and never knew anyone else (esp those of us coosing to live on the edge withotut a handy salad spinee) to have it. Like,yChrist's sake, just stop buying dirty greens for your salad making supply, and you won't have this problem in the first place. Or if even THAT is too much to fucking ask, I know for a fact they sell pre-washed greens in super markets. I know this because I buy containers of them sometimes when they are on sale. Sure, they might cost a little bit more, but I'm sure its nothing compared to the mighty salad spinner. Especially if yo're one of the types who enjoys eating you greens i in the woods, but can't go more than 2.0 hours without electricity... I've seen what your kind has done to make smoothies out there, I'm sure some won't hesitate to use a coal-burning salad spinner if it was available.