I can't think of a better way to describe it. For example. I have a stupid little picross app on my phone. I swear it has just the right sounds and mental input to keep me glued to it. I know I got other things to do. I know I need to put it down. One more puzzle is fine tho, right...? I mean it's only 3-5 minutes...and poof it's been an hour....well, it's already been an hour so one more is fine, right?
:this-is-fine:
I am asking here cuz I don't wanna hear about "well just put your phone down!" or "willpower!" or even "lazy!!!". I physically am sitting there thinking ok after this one I put the phone down and then I push the next button without even noticing I did it. It's even worse if I'm stressed or 'procrastinating' cuz the list is too long. So please, gently, without reminding me that I'm a lazy asshat who just needs to learn to adult, help me out here...
Oh, I have the ADD. I have the ADD meds. Problem is I have a tiny dose of the ADD meds because 30ish years of masking makes my shrink not believe I need a higher dose of said meds. I have tried, but every time I say anything, since I am still functioning I'm just fine. Of course I'm functioning goddamn it. I'm a 40ish year old adult with a job and kids and I have no CHOICE but to function. But, it would be really nice to be able to do something BESIDES function once in a while...you know, plan something and not forget, or schedule self-care without losing track of time and not doing other important things, or play a video game for a short bit as a break without forgetting to get back to real life, or go to bed when I said I was going to instead of three hours later or.....