Idk what exactly I should say here, 'cause I'm not really upset or venting per se, but there's a lot of things about neurodivergence that never gets told to people, even if they are neurodivergent.

For example, I've been trying my hand at speedrunning during the power outages here in Texas, 'cause I have a laptop and nothing better to do. One thing I was never told about ADHD is that it messes with your coordination and slows down your reaction time, which it should be obvious as to how that could limit someone's ability to speedrun something. Now I should say, I'm not really upset or frustrated by my limited coordination/reaction speed, and I've definitely gotten better with practice. For the specific level I'm trying to speed run, I've shaved off over a minute from my very first successful run, down from 3:18 to 2:26, and then to 2:07, which puts me only 9 seconds away from beating the 6th place time on speedrun.com, and I only started trying to speedrun this week.

That said, it still sucks that my abilities are limited. The top speedrunner has a time that's just over half of my current best time, and they're having to do a ton of very precisely timed inputs to get that fast. They probably already put in a ton of practice to get that good, and for me it'd probably take 10x as much effort just to get down to a 5th place 1:30 time. But really, my problem isn't that my abilities are limited, it's that no one ever really told me all the ways in which my abilities were limited. Part of the reason why my limited reaction time and coordination haven't really been bothering me is that I already know they're there, but I only learned that ADHD causes those problem within the last year after watching some videos on ADHD where someone just happened to bring it up. I can only imagine how someone with ADHD would feel trying to do what I've been doing for the past week without the knowledge of how it limits their abilities. Constantly switching to the wrong weapon, pressing wrong buttons, dodging or parrying too late or too early, but having no idea as to why. It would get frustrating really fast, and most people would probably give up, which sucks because as I've experienced, I clearly can "get good(ish)", even with my abilities limited by a neurodevelopmental disorder that I'll never be able to fix.

Guess what I'm trying to say is that ADHD limiting my abilities sucks, but if I never knew how ADHD limited my abilities, it would suck even more. And what sucks the most is that I don't remember anyone ever sitting me down and helping me to recognize/understand all the ways in which my abilities could be limited, 'cause it's a lot easier to cope with my disabilities once I actually know they're there.