This is the thread to come to when you need to get stuff off your chest but don’t want to bother or upset anyone. Please be conscious of your comrades and use spoilers and CWs as necessary
Also, sometimes when folks vent they just want to get it out, they don’t want advice or feedback or anything, so if that’s you please identify as such and we’ll enforce
If you don’t want people to respond to your venting, start the post with the ❌ emoji
If you really do want or even need responses ✅
If you don't care, don't worry about it :heart-sickle:
I just came up with the above system on the spot, please let me know if you have feedback on it!
Yeah, that's a pretty bad take and it sucks that that was their response. They aren't wrong in a sense, therapy can help, but all a therapist can do is help you to prepare for ways of dealing with RSD when it happens. Saying "just get therapy for RSD" to someone with ADHD would be like if someone started watching TV in the same room as me while I'm trying to study and then saying "just get therapy to focus better" when I tell them that they're distracting me. Yeah sure, therapy would help me focus better, but because I have ADHD I'm never going to be able to study in the same room as someone who's watching TV regardless of whatever coping mechanisms I have at my disposal. Either they're going to have to turn off the TV or I'm going to have to study somewhere else.
Similarly, there's no way to coexist with something that's triggering RSD. Either the trigger has to stop or the person with RSD has to disengage. All therapy can do is speed up the recovery process after disengaging.
The insinuation seemed to be that with CBT you could like, actually cope in the moment better or something. But idk. It just seems like an excuse for noone to have to change their behavior.
From what I understand, the only way to cope in the moment is to try and completely flatten out your emotional state before hand and mentally prepare yourself to try and dampen the blow when it happens. But really, this'll only work if you know you're going to experience RSD ahead of time, and due to the nature of RSD, you don't always know when it'll happen. So really in order for this to be effective, you need to be in a constant unemotional/emotionally detached state, which obviously leads to it's own problems of you acting like an insensitive asshole at times, and ironically enough will probably lead to many more situations that can trigger RSD lol. And of course you're still only dampening the blow, not stopping it, so it'll still going to have an effect on you. There's also no guarantee you'll even be successful in dampening the blow.
The only other option is to be a complete ass-kisser so that no one is ever mean to you, which of course is not guaranteed to work either. So if people don't want to change their behavior to accommodate ND comrades (within reason of course), they're going to deal with us either being ass-kissers, assholes or absent from engaging with everyone else, at least on certain topics.