SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them] to menby • 4 years ago

I hope this doesn't come off as being an incel, but god I'm a lonely dude.

SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them] to menby • 4 years ago

Anyone relate? I really can't date because of my physical and mental health and covid, plus poverty, but god sometimes I miss intimacy.

Sometimes I feel like I deserve this because I broke three women's hearts. And I'm truly sorry for doing that. I'm happy they're doing good now, one is even married! But I miss having someone who loved me and accepted me, someone who had my back, you know?

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SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them]
hexagon
·
4 years ago

What does that mean about me?

We all make mistakes though.

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A space for masculine folks to talk about living under patriarchy.

Detoxing masculinity since 1990!

You don’t get points for feminism, feminism is expected.

Guidelines:

Questions over blame
Humility over pride
Wisdom over dogma
Actions over image

Rules (expansions on the guidelines):

Mistakes should be learning experiences when possible.
- Do not attack comrades displaying vulnerability for what they acknowledge are mistakes.
- If you see good-faith behavior that's toxic, do your best to explain why it's toxic.
- If you don't have the energy to engage, report and move on.
- This includes past mistakes. If you've overcome extreme reactionary behavior, we'd love to know how.
- A widened range of acceptable discussion means a greater need for sensitivity and patience for your comrades.
- Examples:
  - "This is reactionary. Here's why."
  - "I know that {reality}, but I feel like {toxicity}"
  - "I don't understand why this is reactionary, but it feels like it {spoilered details}"
You are not entitled to the emotional labor of others.
- Constantly info-dumping and letting us sort through your psyche is not healthy for any of us.
- If you feel a criticism of you is unfair, do not lash out.
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- If you don't know how to phrase why it's unfair, say so.
No singular masculine ideal.
- This includes promoting gender-neutral traits like "courage" or "integrity" as "manly".
- Suggestions for an individual to replace a toxic ideal is fine.
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- This also includes tendency struggle-sessions.
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- Post the picture of the fish you caught in !sports (feminine people like fish too smdh my damn head).
- At best, stuff like this is off-topic. At worst, it's reinforcing genders norms..
- If you're not trying to be seen as masculine for your lifestyle content, it's irrelevant to this comm. If you are trying to be seen as masculine, let's have a discussion about why these things are seen as masculine.

Resources:

What is toxic masculinity?

*The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love by Bell Hooks

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