Anyone relate? I really can't date because of my physical and mental health and covid, plus poverty, but god sometimes I miss intimacy.

Sometimes I feel like I deserve this because I broke three women's hearts. And I'm truly sorry for doing that. I'm happy they're doing good now, one is even married! But I miss having someone who loved me and accepted me, someone who had my back, you know?

    • SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them]
      hexagon
      ·
      4 years ago

      As long as you don’t start obsessing over shit like bone structure and raging out on anyone with a healthy social connection

      Nah that ain't me, but thanks.

        • SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them]
          hexagon
          ·
          4 years ago

          Very true. Like I don't blame women anymore, my blame lays on the system that's made me into the mess that I am, the other part of the blame is on myself for not finding my strength yet to break out of this.

  • AntipastoAktion [they/them]
    ·
    4 years ago

    I feel ya. I was a weird creepy loner as a kid and well into my teens and early adulthood - shit, well into my early 20s. I was (still am) fat and out of shape, not traditionally attractive, and neurodivergent as hell (Asperger's or some other spectrum disorder). Plenty of close friends, but never a relationship. I'm lonely as hell, and the older I get the weirder it gets overall. Being alone in your late teens? Fine. Being alone through your 20s? Strange but not bad. Into your 30s? Shit just feels pathetic.

    I'm glad I found places like this though. Like ten years ago if I hadn't had a change of heart and a change of path I probably woulda ended up hardcore down the incel pipeline I think. I'd like to think I'm getting better.

    You're valid, comrade, even if you're on your own.

  • Grownbravy [they/them]
    ·
    4 years ago

    Work from home, living in a chud zone, with no prospects of meeting even interesting people because of the quarantine that no one else is sticking to.

    Good times :agony-deep:

    • SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them]
      hexagon
      ·
      4 years ago

      You may only hoot during the designated times 9 am to 6 pm, hootin' hollerin' whoopin' stampin' any other shenanigans will be met with fines.

    • SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them]
      hexagon
      ·
      4 years ago

      I’ve got a feeling they wouldn’t claim you, comrade

      Yeah, I figure I'm a just a normal young-ish dude who's lonely for a partner. Even back when I was crypto-fash and hated women I didn't really get too down with incel shit, like I didn't feel like I was owed sex, I just really had an irrational hatred of women, mostly due to being dumped. God I was a chump lol

  • ChapoBapo [he/him]
    ·
    4 years ago

    I’m a lonely single depressed guy too comrade. Unfortunately I don’t meet the requirements for being an incel because I don’t hate women and I don’t think my problems are in any way femininity’s fault.

    It’s really nice that you’re happy for your exes and that you care about them doing well and being happy. You seem like a really good person, to me. I think you’re worth of love regardless of your health and/or finances. I hope you find it sooner rather than later, maybe when things aren’t as complicated with the pandemic hanging over everything.

      • ChapoBapo [he/him]
        ·
        4 years ago

        That’s a very good point too - recognizing that we can be happy with just ourselves is a great asset and can really help a lot. Still, it’s quite natural to desire companionship and if that’s a goal of yours then I hope you get it.

  • Wmill [he/him]
    ·
    4 years ago

    I some times fear it's getting later and later for me to find a relationship or even have sex. Money is an issue to but the best advice I heard is that if someone likes you don't need a fancy dinner just something that shows your affection to hang out.

    Maybe it's easier for me since I don't know what I'm missing out on but I still get lonely. This is were I make a joke about being volcel or at least convince myself I am. I can't be incel because I don't hate women just super shy and anxious.

    Great on your for being happy for your exes though. Hang in there Soros, I have hope for you. Wish me luck too. No matter what happens I hope you find happiness. :heart-sickle:

    • Puffin [any, they/them]
      ·
      4 years ago

      Idk how old you are but I didn't have sex until my mid 20s. It's funny because once I did, it was like the floodgates broke and suddenly it was so easy. I think I was just very in my head about it. Eventually though casual stuff felt kinda empty to me so I calmed back down.

      • Wmill [he/him]
        ·
        4 years ago

        28 I hope so. Might have been good I waited though, I feel like I matured a lot. I say this unironically, I know what kind of humor I do all day but feel like Wmill now is wiser than 18 yo Wmill and I'll keep getting wiser. I've resisted doing any jokes so far.

    • SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them]
      hexagon
      ·
      4 years ago

      best advice I heard is that if someone likes you don’t need a fancy dinner just something that shows your affection to hang out.

      No you don't need anything fancy at all!

      • Wmill [he/him]
        ·
        4 years ago

        I'm still fancy as I drink my tea with my pinky up. This is not innuendo just to be clear just a spongebob joke btw.

          • Wmill [he/him]
            ·
            edit-2
            4 years ago

            On a more serious manner though your right. I guess the fancy dinner thing is a hold over expectation that this capitalist society pushes on us you know? I joke but I do try to look higher class but because I think no one would date me if I didn't.

            Edit made an unintentional manner and fancy joke I'm sorry :sadness:

            • SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them]
              hexagon
              ·
              4 years ago

              Honestly I've never been on a "traditional" date so to speak. When I meet a girl, we usually just hang out in my car or hers and usually make out a bit and get to know one another. So there's that.

              • Wmill [he/him]
                ·
                4 years ago

                I've just never been on a date if I'm being honest. I would like to some day, just hope women my age don't mind how much of a dork I am.

    • duck [he/him,they/them]
      ·
      4 years ago

      Maybe it’s easier for me since I don’t know what I’m missing out on but I still get lonely. This is were I make a joke about being volcel or at least convince myself I am. I can’t be incel because I don’t hate women just super shy and anxious.

      Yeah this

  • ToutACoupJazzGirl420 [she/her]
    ·
    4 years ago

    i've been single my whole life. work from home, live alone. my brain fell apart sometime back in like may and somehow I'm not dead yet. I have tons of close friends and I see them every week but god damn going days on end without seeing another person is just...it's hell, for me. I'm pretty extroverted and I have so so so many friends that I just can't see because of risk or that I can't travel. Like when was the last time you went an entire year of your life without meeting any new people? It's brutal, I can't take it.

    • SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them]
      hexagon
      ·
      4 years ago

      Like when was the last time you went an entire year of your life without meeting any new people?

      A long time, I never really leave home except to get food, but I get what you're saying.

      • sam5673 [none/use name]
        ·
        3 years ago

        Just going out and meeting people at community centres would probably do you wonders then

  • star_wraith [he/him]
    ·
    4 years ago

    I hope this doesn't come off as being an incel

    My comrade, nothing you have said in this post or anywhere else would lead me to believe you have any incel tendencies.

    • SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them]
      hexagon
      ·
      4 years ago

      i used to try to reclaim the term ‘incel’ from misogynists,

      What made you give up? It's not a bad idea per say, but incel is a loaded term, in so much that it's implying you're being denied sex for reasons. I heard the term "love shy" once, and I liked that more.

    • sam5673 [none/use name]
      ·
      3 years ago

      Yeah I was always uncomfortable hitting on a woman who couldn't easily avoid me if she wasn't interested which very much rules out coworkers

  • curmudgeonthefrog [he/him]
    ·
    4 years ago

    Big mood, you're not alone comrade. One thing that's helped me with the loneliness was finding discords to hang out in. Since everyone's terminally online these days, there are a lot more online communities you can chill with.

  • hopelesscomrade [they/them]
    ·
    4 years ago

    I'm a pretty sad fuck who can't really enjoy anything and has never gotten past a date. Anxiety ruins most social encounters for me. Hellworld makes it worst, ect.

      • hopelesscomrade [they/them]
        ·
        3 years ago

        One one. Either way I'm pretty content just having my exhaustion, depression and anxiety mostly under control. Who knows how long that will last.

        Right now, looking for friends or finding a relationship seems like an investment I don't have the time for. Besides the way everyone talks to me, I'm not really interested in the concept of a stoic provider. I already do nothing but work, I don't want dependants on top of that.

  • qw912334 [he/him]
    ·
    4 years ago

    I'm lonely too, haven't talked to a girl since I broke up with my ex in April. I'm in a good place for it, but it's hard to meet anyone since I don't use online dating and everything is locked down. I know how you feel, I feel like I don't deserve it either because I've been shitty in the past, but I think I've learned from it and nearly feel ready to date again. And if I can do it, so can you!