I don't mean to offend or delegitimize anyone who uses or prefers the term. I think anything that makes people feel comfortable or empowered or supported is good. It's just that this one particular term leaves me with an odd feeling that I haven't been able to resolve on my own and I wanted to reach out to the largest and most supportive trans community I'm apart of.
I guess I am also generally a little weird about language. I don't like to use the b-word and I also find 'pantie' to be sort of gross.
I appreciate it! I really resonated with what you were saying about reclaiming your adolescence. I struggled with similar feelings when my egg cracked at the end of my adolescence about having 'missed' my girlhood and so on. It was an especially big kicker since I had identified with having 'AGP' since about 14 and I would have 'what if' fantasies about digging a little deeper and starting my transition then.
Also really interested in what you said about reclaiming slurs and other negative words. A few queer friends and I played around with reclaiming the f-word for a while before realizing it just stung too much no matter how playfully or silly we said it. Now I mostly save it for the rare occasions where I need to cuss out cishet men—problematic I know but it just cuts them up to hear it from someone it obviously applies to for some reason haha.