What To Know About What’s Happening In Israel And Gaza
www.theonion.com
On October 7, Hamas launched violent attacks on Israel, and Israel has since responded with violent attacks on the Gaza Strip, a bloody escalation of a conflict that has persisted for generations. The Onion tells you what you need to know about what’s happening in Israel and Gaza.

Q: Where is the Gaza Strip? A: Don’t worry about it. It won’t exist by the end of the week.

Q: How has the media approached the conflict? A: Swiftly and irresponsibly.

Q: How many people have died? A: That depends on whether you count Palestinian deaths as well.

Q: Am I allowed to be sad for all of the victims? A: Absolutely not. You have to pick a side.

Q: What’s been the international response? A: People across the world have contributed an outpouring of infographics.

Q: How has the United States responded? A: U.S. leaders reminded Americans that their nation has a responsibility to be a frothing worshipper at the altar of death.

Q: How is Israel working to avoid civilian casualties? A: Civilians in Gaza are being given the opportunity to be driven out of their homeland forever.

Q: Where can I learn more? A: This is a logistically and morally complex situation involving decades of recent history and thousands of years of context, so try your cousin’s Instagram stories.

Q: What lessons should I take from this conflict? A: That dehumanization begets dehumanization, terror begets terror, and none of us will be free until all of us are free; or, you know, that it might be easier to just look away.

  • Antiwork [none/use name]
    ·
    1 year ago

    -1. It’s not thousands of years. It’s 100 at most and is just the general imperialist playbook.

    -2. Siding with the colonized is the only correct choice.

    -3. You don’t need to be a history buff to have an opinion.

    -4. Let’s look away from the genocide. Great idea.

    -5. It’s not the swiftness (Taylor’s edition) or lack of responsibility that is the problem with the media it’s that they are paid to always side with the oppressors and colonizers.