On October 7, Hamas launched violent attacks on Israel, and Israel has since responded with violent attacks on the Gaza Strip, a bloody escalation of a conflict that has persisted for generations. The Onion tells you what you need to know about what’s happening in Israel and Gaza.

Q: Where is the Gaza Strip?
A: Don’t worry about it. It won’t exist by the end of the week.

Q: How has the media approached the conflict?
A: Swiftly and irresponsibly.

Q: How many people have died?
A: That depends on whether you count Palestinian deaths as well.

Q: Am I allowed to be sad for all of the victims?
A: Absolutely not. You have to pick a side.

Q: What’s been the international response?
A: People across the world have contributed an outpouring of infographics.

Q: How has the United States responded?
A: U.S. leaders reminded Americans that their nation has a responsibility to be a frothing worshipper at the altar of death.

Q: How is Israel working to avoid civilian casualties?
A: Civilians in Gaza are being given the opportunity to be driven out of their homeland forever.

Q: Where can I learn more?
A: This is a logistically and morally complex situation involving decades of recent history and thousands of years of context, so try your cousin’s Instagram stories.

  • Evilphd666 [he/him, comrade/them]
    ·
    1 年前

    Q : How has the United States responded?

    A: U.S. leaders reminded Americans that their nation has a responsibility to be a frothing worshipper at the altar of death

    freedom-and-democracy frothingfash yes-hahaha-yes-l

    The Onion dropping little nods to us all the time. sicko-wholesome