It could just be that my brain has been totally fried by 10+ years of depression, but after doing some research and a few self evaluation things, I think I might have at least mild ADHD. The exact symptoms and their severity will have to be sorted out with a therapist, but I figure my life story lines up with the experience of some adults with undiagnosed ADHD -

  • Huge underachiever through middle/high school and college
  • Classes I fail follow the same pattern of first I forget to start/can't start assignment and it snowballs from there
  • Horribly disorganized, fidgety, and restless my entire life, and can only focus on certain things if I mess with something else (like solving a rubiks cube constantly during a zoom lecture)
  • Tend to zone out and lose track of unstimulating conversations (like parents talking about chores, for example)
  • Can't hold a job for shit
  • Takes me days to sit down and do important things like apply for stuff, register for class, shop insurance plans
  • And yes I guess I do hyperfocus on things at times and I'm extremely upset by interruptions of any kind

I feel like I've been the same way my entire life but I was never diagnosed because I was a very quiet, manageable kid in school - now that a lot of shit is on me as an adult, things are noticeably spiraling out of control.

All these tendencies have contributed to the mass of failure that is my life in one way or another. And there was probably a better way to synthesize all that, but I'm struggling to find the effort right now. Anyway, I'm sure some of you can relate on some level so I want to ask -

How effective has treatment been for you? Did medication make a big positive change in these or similar symptoms or was it more subtle? How much more control do you have over yourself and your life now?

  • SpookyVanguard64 [he/him]M
    ·
    4 years ago

    I started taking meds ~3 years ago, and I'd say they've made my life better. Idk how much they've really improved my life, but they're probably one of the main reasons I haven't dropped out of college yet, 'cause they allow me to actually clear my mind and focus. One thing to keep in mind though it the meds are always going to feel the most effective the first time you take them, and then feel gradually less effective over time. For me, sometimes is barely even feels like they're working while I'm on them, but as soon as I try to do anything without being on meds, it's incredibly obvious that I function much better when I'm on meds. Basically, they started out feeling like a massive improvement, and now they feel much more subtle.

    And yes, the meds do help with all of the things you listed to varying degrees (I've never had a job though so I can't say on that one lol). Keep in mind though that the meds won't necessarily "fix" any of those problems. Instead you should expect them to make the problems easier to manage.

    • clover [she/her]
      ·
      4 years ago

      And yes, the meds do help with all of the things you listed to varying degrees (I’ve never had a job though so I can’t say on that one lol). Keep in mind though that the meds won’t necessarily “fix” any of those problems. Instead you should expect them to make the problems easier to manage.

      Yeah, I expect it would be similar to my experience with anti-depressants - before I started taking them, the worst part of any episode would be the foggy mind and racing thoughts. I still feel like shit sometimes, but I'm waaaaay more clearheaded. That also went from being a big improvement to something more subtle/easily taken for granted.