Its just so exhausting and upsetting.

excerpt from a conversation from yesterday (CW transphobia)

Transphobe 1: its too tall!

Transphobe 2: what is?

Transphobe 1 gestures at me

Transphobe 1: that thing

The conversation continued with additional transphobia.

And like i get it okay, im not a person, not even a human, but can we just skip the whole conversation? Or is the whole dehumanization and inflicting pain thing the enjoyable part?

I guess a positive is that it shows who the fake and fairweather allies are, like i was surrounded by people i thought were allies but no one said a damn thing. It was transphobe 2 that actually called out his friend cause 'you just cant say that stuff anymore' 🙄. Transphobe 1 proceeded to try and defend his actions by claiming he was using gender neutral language cause he didnt know how to gender me. Like, no motherfucker you fucking werent! Gender neutral language isnt dehumanizing language! Now i get to go organize an event with these same "allies" who said nothing. I demand that you shoot me now, so i dont have to do this.

Im not sure why im so upset about this. Its not that bad, really just par for the course. Not like he was beating me or anything. And allies should be assumed to be false unless otherwise proven. Its just so tiring. So damn exhausting.

Thanks for listening to me

  • hissing_serpents [she/her, it/its]
    ·
    1 year ago

    at least for me the dehumanization is kind of the point, we use 'it' for animals too, but only for the disposable ones. cis ppl will apologize for misgendering a dog and then turn around and use the same language for a trans person that they would for a pest.

    i don't like that it's as simple as "dehumanizing" to take away your consideration for someone, like maybe if being other than human weren't a license to be treated with cruelty and disregard it wouldn't be as easy to deny empathy just for being different.

    i'll use it/its out of solidarity with everyone and everything that doesn't get to be a person, and bc i still have that privilege (usually) but i'd rather it not be a privilege at all.

    also anecdotally as a trans woman saying she/it is a great way to not get passively aggressively they/them-ed and "that person"-ed