Pretty much everyone figures out how to actually socialize, maintain relationships, have new relationships, improve them, and date at high school, MAYBE college at the latest. I'm 30, almost 31. Did I miss the boat on learning that and having a semblance of happiness in my life, and there's no going back.
I've tried it all. I've tried social hobbies, I've tried going out, I've tried putting myself out there. The basics of social skills elude me. I am, at best, a filler friend. I can't see myself being any more than that, and I think it's too late for me to get better.
I think I doomed myself to a life of loneliness, all because of the bad choices I made. The only possible hope I can have is maybe reincarnation is real and I can suck less in the next life.
I might be too doomer but you should try to find ND people. From my experience, most NTs don't want to talk about their interests or opinions that much, but instead prefer empty conversations which make me feel that I want to disappear, so I don't enjoy their company either. I am not roasting them, they have hidden depths, but you have to get closer to them first. ND's are much more interesting to me, and our communication styles match more neatly so the "awkwardness" isn't there.
You don't lack social skills, you just lack the necessary tools to communicate with neurotypicals (body language, passive social norm absorption etc). If you try to mask and create an NT-compatible personality you will suffer in the long run, that kind of acting everyday takes its toll on you
Seconding this. I found my S.O. and current friend group in my mid 30s and part of why I adore them all so much is that diagnosed or undiagnosed we all have recognized we're ND in some capacity and it makes us all so much more able to understand each others communication and social ticks. Its seriously wild when you're with a group of people who match your wavelength and you realize your weird social behavior is just kinda the norm.