THE HEAVENS—Admitting that His heavenly dictates had made the Franciscan friar suffer enough, God, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, reportedly threw celibate monk Roberto Nevastri a pity wet dream this week. “He’s been so good resisting temptation and respecting chastity over the past few decades that the least I…

volcel-judge Which one of you wrote this?

  • Wheaties [she/her]
    ·
    1 year ago

    :volcel-police: :angel-biblical: 𝕯𝖎𝖛𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝕮𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖙𝖔𝖗, 𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖊 𝖎𝖘 𝖒𝖚𝖈𝖍 𝖙𝖍𝖔𝖚 𝖘𝖍𝖆𝖑𝖙 𝖆𝖓𝖘𝖜𝖊𝖗 𝖋𝖔𝖗

    • VOLCEL_POLICE [it/its]B
      ·
      1 year ago

      Show

      The VOLCEL POLICE are on the scene! PLEASE KEEP YOUR VITAL ESSENCES TO YOURSELVES AT ALL TIMES.

      نحن شرطة VolCel.بناءا على تعليمات الهيئة لترويج لألعاب الفيديو و النهي عن الجنس نرجوا الإبتعاد عن أي أفكار جنسية و الحفاظ على حيواناتكم المنويَّة حتى يوم الحساب. اتقوا الله، إنك لا تراه لكنه يراك.

      volcel-police

  • GrouchyGrouse [he/him]
    ·
    1 year ago

    Every time I think satire is dead in our fucked up world The Onion clocks me over the head with something like this.