Dear god, this is the best response I have ever heard and it has made my day. First the mysterious song gets found, and now this. What a month!

I'm female and I've never had a shred of emotional support either. My friends stopped bothering with me when I got too sick to be fun any more. I haven't had any kind of social life or companionship in years. I've got no family to speak of. Even the nurses and doctors aren't kind. I was laying in bed crying after my cancer surgery because I was scared and in pain and the nurse crossly said to me, "Oh stop whingeing. Lots of people have it worse than you." That's just one example. Now I'm destitute even the support agencies (like macmillan, citizens advice, etc) just keep passing the buck to each other, when I beg them for help with things like accessing food or any other kind of support, they just try to pass me off to each other instead of helping me. The only people I've actually had help from are those here on hexbear/lemmygrad.

Even when I got so desperate at my situation that I made a suicide attempt, everyone including the medical staff treated me like absolute crap.

This is so true. We really do have less time than other people. I haven't worked in several years since having a stroke as a consequence of cancer treatment, and I desperately need to rest, yet my schedule is more full than I can handle, partly due to frequent and lengthy hospital appointments/treatments and partly due to fighting benefit claim appeals. The amount of work and effort that goes into these two things is really wearing me down. And if I do have any free time, I'm too tired to do anything anyway.

Thanks. x

She said I can just buy them off amazon, but that doesn't help, because I've checked on there and they are just as expensive and I don't have any money at all. However someone on here gave me the idea to ask if my medical exemption certificate would entitle me to free dressings, so I've sent them an email about that and I'm waiting to hear back.

Did they investigate these family and friends, or did you need to prove they were family/friends?

This is what I'm worried about and why I don't feel I can accept money. What did they say/do about people who sent you money? And how far back did they go? Was it on the phone?

I'm worried about accepting money though, because the DWP are checking people's bank accounts and I don't know how I'd explain why someone was putting money in my account.

I can't believe this. I'm booked in to have a minor surgery on my feet to clear up infected skin that has failed to respond to other treatments. It's on the NHS so the surgery is free, but they just told me I have to pay for a pack of dressings to take home (as the wound needs the dressing changed every day and the pack apparently contains something to keep the dressings dry in the shower.) This pack is bloody £37, and I have to buy two as both my feet are having the surgery. I can't be the only one who thinks these packs should be free along with the surgery? And where am I supposed to get £74 while going through a benefit appeal? Just when I think life can't get worse, it finds a way. Being ill/disabled is so bloody expensive!

I'm glad to hear others say talk therapy is useless. Online (especially reddit), people are always going on about how it's so great, everyone should get therapy, it solves all your problems, etc. It's been feeling like gaslighting, like "if therapy doesn't fix you then YOU aren't putting enough effort in." It feels no different than the bible telling people if they have enough faith they can move mountains.

I don't think I can get therapy elsewhere because it costs money, which I don't have. I don't even want therapy anyway, I've accepted my situation already. The therapist even said all she can do for me is get me to accept my situation and I'd already done that before I even met her. The one thing she can do is help me get my benefits reinstated but she just seems utterly opposed to that.

Anyway I've had several therapists before and none were any good at all. Years ago I was at university and I was walking home from the supermarket one evening when I was grabbed off the street and sexually assaulted by a gang of 4 men - total strangers. The university provided a counsellor/therapist who was also useless. One of the things she did was try to get me to empathise with my attackers, get me to imagine what problems they'd been going through that drove them to act the way they did towards me. I can't begin to tell you how infuriating it is, even now, to remember that. And the police were even worse. It's all crap.

Yes. I've got nothing and I'm resigned to the fact I'll never have anything. After years of cancer treatment that caused me to have a stroke, which has left me partially sighted and unable to walk properly, I was no longer able to work or study, and now spend my life going through endless disability benefit claims and appeals (because they reassess me stupidly frequently), scavenging for food and on the brink of homelessness while going through these appeals. Due to my illness I lost any chance of a normal life, no career, no family. I consider myself ace but I could still have had a family of my own. Now due to my health it's too late. I can barely look after myself anyway. My friends all drifted away as my illness wore on and I was no longer able to go out much, so I have absolutely no social life whatsoever. Due to lack of funds I can't even do simple things like rent films I want to see on amazon. I've accepted that my life is pointless, meaningless and miserable. But why does the government have to make it worse with these endless benefit assessments? The constant poverty is the one thing I can't accept. I'm just eaten up with anxiety about it all the time.
The only way I get through life is living in a fantasy world most of the time. I've built up this elaborate fantasy life in my head where I'm healthy and happy, surrounded by friends and having a great time with no financial worries. In these daydreams I go surfing and skydiving, have the best mates ever and am full of joy and life, everything is always sunny and I'm always young. The only way I can cope with reality is by imagining it away.

I don't think she does this, and it wasn't on offer from the NHS. 5 years prior to this I was given DBT on the NHS from a different therapist, who was even worse than this one. The DBT therapist just made me write lists of why I shouldn't feel depressed or anxious and why I shouldn't commit suicide, and look at those lists whenever I felt bad, to make me feel better. That was the entire therapy! And she admitted that she wasn't even qualified yet. I've totally given up on therapy actually helping me, it's all shit. I'm only toughing it out because of my benefit claim.

Well, I got a couple of messages of support last week about the behaviour of my therapist so I thought I'd give you all an update. I mentioned how I'm going through a benefit appeal, and also having mental health therapy for depression and anxiety, and this therapist is worse than useless but I don't dare to quit because the DWP (benefit assessors) will use it against me, they've done it before, used me not having treatment for a condition as an excuse to stop my benefits. Anyway, I mentioned how I'm struggling to keep going to the therapy appointments because they are so useless and stressful and I have a lot of other medical appointments to keep up with too (oncologist, endocrinologist, stroke clinic, ophthalmologist, physiotherapist, neurologist, etc) so having this weekly useless therapy appointment is just an extra stress and waste of time. I mentioned this to my therapist and she got offended and told me to just quit therapy if I don't want to go. When I explained that the DWP will use that as an excuse to permanently stop my benefits and I'll end up homeless and permanently destitute, she didn't care at all and said "benefits aren't a good enough reason to have therapy."
Well anyway the update is that I missed an appointment with her and I've been feeling more unwell than usual this past week as a treatment I was given by the neurologist has worn off now, so the therapist agreed that this month we can just have one appointment instead of the usual 4 and see how that goes. I just really want her to let me have one a month until January, when the therapy comes to a natural end. That way I've completed the 6 month course of therapy rather than quitting halfway through and the DWP won't be able to use it against me. I really hope she doesn't expect me to have the full 8 sessions that are left after that. I hate this therapy so much, it's absolute crap. She's such a crappy therapist she can't even think of things to do in the sessions and tries to make me think of things to do. I once told her I was interested in trying meditation so now 20-25 minutes of each session are her doing a rubbish mediation where she talks complete nonsense while I have my eyes closed. Then she gets out crayons and tells me to draw pictures of whatever I'm feeling. Then she gets out a diagram of a human and tells me to colour in whatever parts of my body hurt that day. The end! How is this meant to help me? My problems are that I'm ill from cancer and the effects of it's treatment, I'm learning to walk again and adjusting to becoming partially sighted after having a stroke, and I'm living in poverty, always fighting benefit appeals and struggling to get enough to eat and keep a roof over my head. No therapy will fix this but this excuse for therapy is particularly bad. And I can't quit or it will be a big strike against me in my benefit claim. People are meant to have a free choice about whether to accept medical treatment or not but there is no free choice when you'll be made destitute, homeless and starving in retaliation for refusing the treatment. And this shitty therapist refuses to understand how badly I need a roof over my head and food. Someone here recommended I talk to her about Maslow's hierarchy of needs to try to get her to understand, I will do that at the next appointment and see what she says. I'll let you all know how that goes.

I don't know this one's qualifications, but the previous one (many years ago) admitted she wasn't qualified yet, so who knows if this one is even qualified? It's not a possibility to transfer. I was on the waiting list for 5 years to get this one and this is all I've been offered. I could ask her to stop the guided meditations but then she will either expect me to think of something else to do, or she'll drag the drawing nonsense out. Whatever she does it will be nonsense, she's clearly just trying to fill the time with whatever so she can collect her paycheck. I don't actually want therapy at all. I've had four therapies in my life and they were all shit. I've accepted my situation. I'm just trying to stick this out to help my benefits claim. Another issue is I hate the therapy wing of the hospital, it stinks of perfume and air fresheners that give me a migraine and the therapist doesn't care about that either.

Hahaha. This is an NHS therapist. I was on the waiting list for 5 years to get this therapy. I can't just get a new therapist. I can't afford to pay for one, I can only have what the NHS provides and this is what they eventually gave me.

I didn't know it had a name. This is definitely what they are doing to us.

Thanks. I wish I could join in with organising and agitation but my every waking moment is consumed with fighting my benefit appeal, trying to stave off homelessness and trying to get enough food.

Thank you. The thing is, I would actually prefer a blatant genocide than the "hidden" genocide we're going through. I'd honestly rather be rounded up and put out of my misery quickly than what we have now, being starved to death behind the scenes while the newspapers brainwash the public into thinking benefit claimants have it so good. The cowards should have the courage to kill us blatantly instead of pretending we have a great "safety net."

I don't believe my therapist is skilled at all. She doesn't even seem to know what to do in the sessions. She tries to make me think of things to do. For instance in the first session she asked if I had any ideas for things I've thought of that might make me feel better and I expressed a vague interest in meditation, and she leapt on that and from then on made a large chunk of each session a meditation, and not even a good one. Literally telling me to close my eyes and in a very unenthusiastic voice, showing how bored she is she'd drone for about 20 minutes whatever nonsense she could think of, always the same "Feel your breath. You can't breathe in the past or the future, only the present. Feel your feet, thank them for walking for you. Roll your ankles. Mentally scan your body and notice anywhere you feel discomfort. Turn your head to the left. Now the right." Just on and on for 20 minutes. Then in every session she gets out a diagram of a human body, brings out some crayons and tells me to colour in wherever I feel pain in my body. Then she tells me to draw a picture of whatever I'm feeling that day. Then she writes a timetable for the week (of getting out of bed, watching TV, walking, meditating, eating mindfully, etc) and tells me to stick to it. That's the end. The same every week. How on earth is this crap meant to help me? And then she got defensive last week when I said this wasn't working for me, isn't doing anything to help, and told me to quit if I want. When I explained my financial reasons for not quitting, explained how I'm worried it will lead to losing my appeal, my benefits being stopped permanently and destitution and homelessness she didn't give a shit and said that's not a good enough reason to have therapy. So I don't know how to explain to her that I need my basic needs met, in a way she will accept. She clearly doesn't understand or care about my impending potential homelessness and regular periods of starvation. I even told her about this website and how several people here over the last couple of months have helped me out with food vouchers to prevent me from starving because my situation is that dire, and you should have seen her face. I've never seen anyone look at me with such contempt before. She looked like she thought I'm some kind of piece of shit scam artist begging money from strangers. She actually told me to stop asking people on here for help. What am I meant to do, just starve to death? She clearly has absolutely no concept of what it's like to be so financially desperate and doesn't want to learn.

I once went to hospital with status migrainosus and they gave me aspirin and sent me on my way. Truly, no-one cares about us.