Kolibri [she/her]

  • 8 Posts
  • 630 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
Cake day: November 28th, 2023
  • Kolibri [she/her]toanarchism•Giuseppe Pinelli - New General Megathread for the 14th-15th of December 2024
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    6 days ago
    grief and talking some more about my mom death and my dog a bit more and alcoholism

    heart-sickle

    I really don't understand how others say they just "move on". It's confusing. I just get worried in a way since it just sort of feels like there a societal pressure to just, "move on" and don't talk about any of this. But it reminds me of like that one saying that there no timetable for grief? I'm not exactly sure how to grief in a healthier way? I don't think I'm dealing with that emotion healthy at all honestly, I don't really even know how besides just figure it out. Especially since like, there was a lot of like, issues? And a lot of unresolved stuff? As in like for example, my mom and I had some issues, and it also didn't help her death was quick to. Since like she got sepsis, and she needed to go to the ER. One week in the ER before being let go to in-home hospice and just one day of that and she was gone.

    Besides that, after her death, my dad started to relapse with his drinking a month or two later, and then just a whole bunch of other stuff like constantly be worried for him or hoping he doesn't drink himself to death or other things like my sister's husband threatening to hurt my dad months ago. But it's just like, a feeling I haven't really been able to properly deal with that emotion because I'm too busy worried about other things. I know when my dog died a few months ago, my dog really brought a lot of this back out again, especially since his death was sudden to. And all it just feels like is im going extremely spiraling downwards, especially due to mental health stuff contributing. Just like getting extremely lost at times and then having to find my way back.

    Maybe this is kind of silly?, but a week or two ago I was trying to take care of this insect that found it's way inside because it's cold and everything. Anyways it ended up dying and it like, manage to bring out those feeling of grief to. Mainly just like when I felt like when my dog died on like that day in september. at least for a brief moment, but it wasn't as intense as when my dog died. But I dunno, It just seems like I really need to figure this out.

    Anyways thanks for taking the time to respond! I hope things are going better for you! since I remember you talking about issues with like with your dad and with his drinking.

  • Kolibri [she/her]totheory•Das Kapital reading group – Week 50, Dec 9-15 – Chapter 47 and Chapter 48 of Volume III
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    11 days ago

    Chapter 48 was fun to read. It nice to see this all go back to the bigger picture and relating these things back again? Also it seems Marx really goes into dialectical materialism stuff on that chapter?

    Also I liked this part

    [...]The actual wealth of society, and the possibility of constantly expanding its reproduction process, therefore, do not depend upon the duration of surplus-labour, but upon its productivity and the more or less copious conditions of production under which it is performed. In fact, the realm of freedom actually begins only where labour which is determined by necessity and mundane considerations ceases; thus in the very nature of things it lies beyond the sphere of actual material production. Just as the savage must wrestle with Nature to satisfy his wants, to maintain and reproduce life, so must civilised man, and he must do so in all social formations and under all possible modes of production. With his development this realm of physical necessity expands as a result of his wants; but, at the same time, the forces of production which satisfy these wants also increase. Freedom in this field can only consist in socialised man, the associated producers, rationally regulating their interchange with Nature, bringing it under their common control, instead of being ruled by it as by the blind forces of Nature; and achieving this with the least expenditure of energy and under conditions most favourable to, and worthy of, their human nature. But it nonetheless still remains a realm of necessity. Beyond it begins that development of human energy which is an end in itself, the true realm of freedom, which, however, can blossom forth only with this realm of necessity as its basis. The shortening of the working-day is its basic prerequisite.