Just took my morning meds and it's almost 8pm, powerful

I probably need sleep meds to sleep properly, maybe. And I guess hypothetically also being told to sleep like as if I'm not a grown ass 28 y.o. woman uh... well no one ever accused me of being functional.

Waking up in the middle of the night and it's hard to sleep because (hungy), but then the resulting headache will naturally make me want to stay in bed rather than make food later (happened yesterday also didn't make food since would have to wash dishes and idk)... Why is life like this? I'll uh eat properly today and do life stuff though yeah, today's the day

...mood again

I'm only coming to terms with it (rather than being "totally awesome powerful vers who totes doesn't fold immediately and is independent and capable of anything or uh something like that arguably") very recently myself but it seems like it was always obvious. Which in hindsight; fair.

I asked my partner of 6 years if I was more subby or dommy or vers and they also instantly replied "1000% subby, and I'm not sorry to say it."

Here I thought I came off as powerful and stuff in personality if not anything else whatsoever at the moment 🫣

Honestly can't claim I'd not at least consider it. "Haha look at this rich fuck's McMansion burning down, ayy"

New year (and more specifically I returned home from visiting fam) and... I guess I gotta live again, and by that I mean do productive things (not that visiting fam was bad- it was wonderful, helped my mom cook a lot and just connected with siblings idk) and get my life on track as well as to a point where I could actually have some sort of notion of self worth.

I guess tomorrow and onwards will be the turning point (or it won't, but it has to be). I guess today wasn't so bad either in terms of doing some things for myself. Ought to leverage my siblings (sis could also use help really) for assistance in keeping up motivation (or having any) I guess.

Today I had a weird dream, I basically almost never dream (or at least don't remember them) but in this dream let's just say I looked somewhat different in the mirror and wasn't dysphoric and was going even in the dream. Sucks to have to wake up from that tbh, optimistic ish but don't trust myself to see it through properly. I guess I also just have severe issues of self-doubt and self-sabotage historically, been thinking of that lately (well always)

I.. I dunno, compared to previous times I'm more defeated, not running on fumes and hot air as much as before and more.. wise(?) I guess, while trying to pick myself up. But I know myself and tbh the honest truth is I just kinda have a really messed up (limbic system, lack of self worth and motivation, learned helplessness etc). How am I supposed to trust that?

mood... Not really much to contribute but I can relate almost 100%.

Being NEET and depressed has to be the biggest bulk of it in my case, though. Hard to be sexual when I'm dissociating from my physical body (still alive and doing my stuff but not really feeling it) and needs on some considerable level 24/7.

Fingers crossed, and hopefully Canada will be too busy thinking of Trump's impending invasion for the next likely PM (Poilievre) to do the same as well.

While I don't have this issue, sometimes I just use (a long tweezer I then wash) to scrape my tongue (with the blunt, long side) instead. Maybe that can help? I also brush my tongue interchangeably, but this way is presumably less gag-inducing (and faster somewhat).

hi

Yes, but be brave!! You can do it...

Love you too

Here's to hoping indeed :x

I don't quite know how to comfort the best but wanted to at least say I read this and I'm rooting for you in the next year... there'll be better, and you deserve infinitely better...

Rooibos is nice, it's basically my standard go-to

Congrats!!!!

Heya ☺️

Thanks

based

I don't see the "apply to make next post" post but I apply I promise to make you all regret it or at least try to do so