Girl here, who used to lurk on the old reddit site and now lurks here, but thought she might as well make an account to give some advice. Obviously all IMHO.
If you're just after sex, then like one of the other commenters said, you could try finding a woman with a fetish for virgins. I also don't know about your background, but you might have hang-ups about sex which are holding you back. From personal experience, I was raised in a pretty religious family, and had a mother who told me not to have sex until I was married. I didn't have sex until I was 22 on a one night stand while backpacking . It was honestly a really good experience for me to wake up the next morning and feel EXACTLY the same as I did before. The sex was good, but it wasn't some kind of soul-altering experience where I suddenly felt like a true adult and formed an instantaneous bond with my partner. Once I got home I had heaps more confidence when dating because I'd already got the first time 'over-and-done-with'.
If you're wanting to get into a romantic relationship, there's not any one way to go about it. All the relationships I know developed in different ways. I met my boyfriend when we were living in the same apartment block but other friends have met long-term partners online, at work, while waiting for a bus etc. One thing that all relationships need to develop though is time spent alone with each other. Another poster here suggested that you could try Bumble/Tinder and I'd really recommend that to get used to meeting up with women one-on-one (from my understanding you've never really done this) . In my experience these apps aren't great for finding a serious relationship (or even just casual sex) but if you want to get some practise going on dates they're a great place to start.
You said that you've never been on a date before, and you also think that you might not necessarily pick up on social cues or have trouble expressing your feelings. Here's what I suggest you do:
Make a profile on Bumble/Tinder. To me Bumble seems less sleazy. Chose photos that showcase your best self, but don't give at totally inaccurate impression. Try to include some of you doing hobbies/with your mates/with your pets. Talking to guys I've heard it can be disheartening to constantly message women and not hear back, but it's a numbers game, just keep persisting.
Once you've matched with a woman you can get talking about your hobbies, movies you've seen recently etc.
If you've had a conversation back and forth for at least ~15 exchanges, just ask her if she wants to meet up. Don't make a vague suggestion: 'want to meet up sometime?' Suggest a specific time and activity: 'want to go and check out the Christmas markets this Saturday afternoon?' If the woman declines, and doesn't suggest an alternative time or activity, you can suggest another activity/time, but if she declines twice she's not interested.
Meeting up for a meal/coffee might seem like the natural choice, but I'd suggest doing an activity: hiking, mini-golf, bowling, visiting a museum, ice-skating etc. I'm always more impressed when a guy makes a bit of an effort to chose something. There's also the added advantage of having something to do, which helps if you think you might be awkward or run out of conversation topics while at a restaurant/cafe. This can be a big problem with online dating if you've already chatted and asked a lot of the small-talk questions while texting. Obviously, suggest something in a public place where there's plenty of people around if you're meeting her for the first time! And nothing that lasts more than 2 hours or is expensive.
Before the date, do all the regular stuff: have a shower, brush your hair and teeth etc. Wear clothing that's suitable for whatever you have planned and is in a flattering style/colour etc. Make sure you have each other's phone numbers and a clear plan of when and where you'll meet up.
During a first date try to keep it casual and just enjoy the activity. If you get on really well you can always go and get something to eat or drink afterwards, but if the date doesn't work out the end of the activity makes a clear ending point for the date.
There seems to be a lot of advice out there on how long you should wait before getting in touch with a date. I reckon a lot of it's bullshit, just text the next day saying 'Thanks for a great time yesterday'.
I think one of the advantages of dating when you're 29 is people are going to be more mature and honest than when they were younger. If a woman's not interested she's likely to tell you.
No matter what, you've been on a date! It's the first step to getting into a relationship with a woman and if you've done it once you can do it again!
Finally, wanted to add that you seem like a really decent guy; you don't want to use women and care about their feelings. I wouldn't be too worried about social skills if you've been able to ask women you are interested in out on dates, have them reject you, and still maintain friendships with them.
TL;DR if you're just after sex , look for women who have a fetish for virgins. If you're wanting more 'practise' at dating/relationships sign up for an app and go on some low-key dates/outings with women.
Girl here, who used to lurk on the old reddit site and now lurks here, but thought she might as well make an account to give some advice. Obviously all IMHO.
If you're just after sex, then like one of the other commenters said, you could try finding a woman with a fetish for virgins. I also don't know about your background, but you might have hang-ups about sex which are holding you back. From personal experience, I was raised in a pretty religious family, and had a mother who told me not to have sex until I was married. I didn't have sex until I was 22 on a one night stand while backpacking . It was honestly a really good experience for me to wake up the next morning and feel EXACTLY the same as I did before. The sex was good, but it wasn't some kind of soul-altering experience where I suddenly felt like a true adult and formed an instantaneous bond with my partner. Once I got home I had heaps more confidence when dating because I'd already got the first time 'over-and-done-with'.
If you're wanting to get into a romantic relationship, there's not any one way to go about it. All the relationships I know developed in different ways. I met my boyfriend when we were living in the same apartment block but other friends have met long-term partners online, at work, while waiting for a bus etc. One thing that all relationships need to develop though is time spent alone with each other. Another poster here suggested that you could try Bumble/Tinder and I'd really recommend that to get used to meeting up with women one-on-one (from my understanding you've never really done this) . In my experience these apps aren't great for finding a serious relationship (or even just casual sex) but if you want to get some practise going on dates they're a great place to start.
You said that you've never been on a date before, and you also think that you might not necessarily pick up on social cues or have trouble expressing your feelings. Here's what I suggest you do:
Make a profile on Bumble/Tinder. To me Bumble seems less sleazy. Chose photos that showcase your best self, but don't give at totally inaccurate impression. Try to include some of you doing hobbies/with your mates/with your pets. Talking to guys I've heard it can be disheartening to constantly message women and not hear back, but it's a numbers game, just keep persisting.
Once you've matched with a woman you can get talking about your hobbies, movies you've seen recently etc.
If you've had a conversation back and forth for at least ~15 exchanges, just ask her if she wants to meet up. Don't make a vague suggestion: 'want to meet up sometime?' Suggest a specific time and activity: 'want to go and check out the Christmas markets this Saturday afternoon?' If the woman declines, and doesn't suggest an alternative time or activity, you can suggest another activity/time, but if she declines twice she's not interested.
Meeting up for a meal/coffee might seem like the natural choice, but I'd suggest doing an activity: hiking, mini-golf, bowling, visiting a museum, ice-skating etc. I'm always more impressed when a guy makes a bit of an effort to chose something. There's also the added advantage of having something to do, which helps if you think you might be awkward or run out of conversation topics while at a restaurant/cafe. This can be a big problem with online dating if you've already chatted and asked a lot of the small-talk questions while texting. Obviously, suggest something in a public place where there's plenty of people around if you're meeting her for the first time! And nothing that lasts more than 2 hours or is expensive.
Before the date, do all the regular stuff: have a shower, brush your hair and teeth etc. Wear clothing that's suitable for whatever you have planned and is in a flattering style/colour etc. Make sure you have each other's phone numbers and a clear plan of when and where you'll meet up.
During a first date try to keep it casual and just enjoy the activity. If you get on really well you can always go and get something to eat or drink afterwards, but if the date doesn't work out the end of the activity makes a clear ending point for the date.
There seems to be a lot of advice out there on how long you should wait before getting in touch with a date. I reckon a lot of it's bullshit, just text the next day saying 'Thanks for a great time yesterday'.
I think one of the advantages of dating when you're 29 is people are going to be more mature and honest than when they were younger. If a woman's not interested she's likely to tell you.
No matter what, you've been on a date! It's the first step to getting into a relationship with a woman and if you've done it once you can do it again!
Finally, wanted to add that you seem like a really decent guy; you don't want to use women and care about their feelings. I wouldn't be too worried about social skills if you've been able to ask women you are interested in out on dates, have them reject you, and still maintain friendships with them.
TL;DR if you're just after sex , look for women who have a fetish for virgins. If you're wanting more 'practise' at dating/relationships sign up for an app and go on some low-key dates/outings with women.