i can't tell if i've gotten used to the pain of my epilator or if i just dissociate the whole time lmao
either way, blessed be our lord epilate, harrowed be thy name
:this: :this-is-fine: :trans-sad:
i can speed through dbt workbooks, coherently analyze my trauma responses, recognize my internalized oppressions, and still fuck it all up the second i step into 'real life' where conversation and senses moves a million times faster than my autistic brain can comfortably take in.
feeling bad for putting all my spoons into getting to an event just to crash literally as soon as i step inside. a lot of it is i need to actually respect my own boundaries and be kind to me. instead i've just been falling into old scripts to get through.
this was helpful for me to step back a lil and get perspective, thank you! :cat-trans:
woof, the idea of expressing that i'm attracted to friends makes me really dysphoric in an internalized transmisogyny sorta way. even when i'm pretty sure they're attracted to me too :powercry-2: or maybe that part makes it worse? :powercry-1: i just fucking end up dissociating and ignoring a friend and spiraling because of that :trans-sad:
i've been struggling w my mental health the past few months, but it's also because my trajectory is getting better? like the days are steadily getting better, and i'm doing a (slightly) better job of asking for help when i need. it's just that everything piles up so fast and i get dragged back down for days at a time when left alone, even though i know i'm loved and make a difference in people's lives.
ya idk, i knew a bunch of people from santa rosa who said he's a piece of shit to workers when the camera's not rolling
seems it's about time to be reposting this article huh
https://archive.ph/K1gCH
okay so like, once i have the queer friends to hang w all my alienation and mental health issues will go away right? right???
i've been so lucky in meeting cool ass new comrades but also my socially anxious ass is so bad at being in the moment lmao. i want to blame it on my too-online tendencies, but haven't most people been struggling w that?
fuck doctors, big mood
i would love to sit in a hyperbolic timechamber or some shit while my body adjusts to hrt. i've been feeling so rough and sore lately, and i keep remembering there's still so much left to do. :cat-trans:
and like don't get me wrong, wouldn't change a thing and i adore the changes that are happening, but goddamn. i feel like i've been a good patient little bitch for a while and i just want to see that in the mirror
yoooo that's not too bad! glad to hear
:Care-Comrade: no shame comrade, i appreciate the info
fuck yeah, thanks for the link comrade
i haven't read the divide, but i started into less is more by hickel a while ago. it definitely feels more lib-friendly but without holding back critiques of capitalism and imperialism. he takes a while to build to his thesis in that too, but i love the grounding in material reality that he sets up to get to his thesis.
i'll have to check out the divide!
he's used right wing talking points/phrasing talking about san francisco, houseless people, evidence of poverty, etc. super casual classist shit
a few times! this is a good reminder to relisten tho, i didn't get a chance to listen w the amount of focus i wanted to :knifecat:
love this band, absolute fav song by them :party-sicko: :party-blob:
sad i'll never get to see them in my small town of liberal mountain, idaho :illiberatory-theology:
hard relate. solidarity.
as progressive as it gets in a neocolonial state lol
quote from the campaign trail: