I'm pretty sure I'd make a pretty bang-up pet psychic. I'm good with reading the body language of most legal house pets, and telling people what they want to hear. I think I could offer genuinely good advice enough times that I could justify what I'm doing and how much I'm charging for it.
A heirarchical cult of gay nerds full of social incompetents with a shit-load of money. A completely amoral and shameless man could fuck his way right to the top.
Good thing my second commandment was "Thou shalt be Volcel, sex is liberalism"