here's the thing: everyone complains about late capitalism and how alienated and isolated we all are. everyone acknowledges this, and reassures each other of this, alone.
you need to get out of yourself, and your head, and your small bubble of one, and you need to go see old friends, or former friends, or people in your social circle who are just meh, or your annoying roommates, or your co-workers, or your former co-workers, or your lame family members, or your lame and bigoted family members, or strangers at a bar, or whomever, and party. meeting people is praxis, strengthening relationships is praxis, making yourself seen and vulnerable to another is praxis. please, guys, go out.
this, here, now, is a facsimile, mediated through a thousand screens. go kiss, go get kissed, go reject a kiss, go be denied a kiss. go out.
Just. Fucking. LOL.
Instead of: "Hey guys NYE was really fun for me, I had a great time in the city with my coworkers and friends, even kissed a few people I liked."
Its: "BY MY DECREE, CAPITALIST ALIENATION IS A PERSONAL PROBLEM, ITS ALL IN YOUR HEAD BRO JUST GO OUTSIDE."
Skys the limit for the levels of ridiculous condescension disguised as advice from normie radlibs. Literally like extrapolating: "mentally ill ppl should just think more positively" from a time you were sad and then the weather changed and you became happy. Like good for you bro but fuck off with the sermon.
It's that Always Sunny bit about putting on a job helmet and getting launched out of a job cannon into JobLand, socialization edition.
It's abrasive and condescending, and as someone that has enough socialization and outside time to be happy, I can still see that.
This persons condescension is ironically a symptom of capitalist alienation, a combination of being so far removed from the real situations and lives of others that you think your ineffectual platitudes are the word of god and not knowing how to sincerely relate to others about having a good experience other than talking at/down to them.
Speaking of capitalist alienation, I've had plenty of exchanges with that user, and most of them concluded with "touch grass" and related thought terminating cliches, all in defense of some treat or another.
The framing of the "advice" is structurally sus, too: agreement is presented as synonymous with compliance, with the implication that disagreement is a personal failing.
GOOD post
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It might give "the kick" to some but it may further kick down on those that would otherwise be most in need of help. I've encouraged people I've personally known to come out of their shells and it took patience and understanding and tolerance for setbacks, not "tough love" aggression and all its overlap with chuddy "self-help" and "get rich quick" books you'll find at your local copy shop.
you’re definitely right but i don’t think it’s fair to expect patience and all of that out of a simple 3 paragraph post, that comes with forming a personal connection with someone and communicating with them over a long period of time. i also don’t really see how the op is tough love or aggressive or anything like that either, they aren’t looking down on other users for not going out or saying anything bad about them
patience is part of a process, this post on its own is just shit.
How dare you tell me to go out and have FUN?! ARE YOU IMPLYING I AM NOT HAVING FUN?!?!?!?!
:jesse-wtf:
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Encouraging people to go out and take risks and be emotionally vulnerable (which is indeed necessary for personal growth because we are social creatures) is a lot easier when the person feels like someone is there to catch them if they metaphorically fall. For that reason, the encouragement works best when it's personal and personalized, or at the very least patient and understanding if it's from someone the person doesn't know too closely.
By contrast, some internet stranger chanting "touch grass" at them in a smug and condescending way is quite likely to put people that could really benefit from taking those social risks further on the defensive.
:chefs-kiss:
"we all eat from the trashcan" :zizek-ok:
Sorry it only works if you're lucky. At the end of the day thats not even true because the solution depends on forming meaningful bonds with other people so it cannot categorically be a personal solution* JFL.
Not a single word beyond that either lmao
jk you have the same problem as OP, literally good for you that you are feeling better now but fuck off with the condescension. It isn't that the advice isn't valid, its simply that OP's post isn't advice in the first place.
OP is just an antisocial normie who happened to have a good night out on New Years with his buddy boyos. However, unlike the vast majority of other people who experienced the same, OP decided to make a condescending bragpost about it on the internet because they don't know any other way to share and process their joy other than to use it to talk down to people. Its fucking sad and reeks of soylent.
i’m sorry but you’re being a million times more condescending, rude, and bitter than op and the person you’re responding to. them saying “hey this advice worked for me” is not them being condescending to you jesus fucking christ
and nowhere in this post was op bragging or talking down, it was obviously encouragement to be more social more than anything. i didn’t have any plans this nye but when i read this i didn’t throw a fit i thought “yeah they’re not wrong there’s some old friends i could probably send a text too” and “i definitely need stay off social media more”and assuming that they went out and partied and calling them “an antisocial normie” just reeks of projection and just being terminally online. i mean this in the most respectful way possible: please log off for a bit and go text some old friends or family or do something not on your phone/computer for an extended period of time.
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i’m not pissed at you just thought your comment was embarrassing and a bit over the top, and i do have a good group of friends the fuck are you talking about 😭 these assumptions you’re making about me are just bat shit insane you don’t know me lil bro, that whole thing genuinely might be the most insufferable and incomprehensible thing i’ve ever read, all over someone telling you to “get out” LMFAOOO
also don’t know why you’re telling me to pick up a dictionary i just literally quoted back what you said to them since you called them antisocial and you keep talking about my comprehension skills when i never said op said the word advice, the guy you were replying to said the word advice jesus christ 😭😭 yes “you need to go out” grammatically speaking is a command but cmon it just isn’t that big of a deal, and the title isn’t “i had a fun time this nye” because the post isn’t about them or a bragpost, it’s telling OTHER people to get out.
and i can’t believe you’re saying op is bragging when you literally just fucking bragged about what you did for nye and tried to rub it in my face when i said i didn’t do anything and managed to word it in the nerdiest way possible, which is just extremely pathetic you hypocritical dork. it’s not “telling” that i didn’t do anything. i fucking work, something clearly you don’t do since you spend all day crying online. the only one punching down here is you
i don’t need advice off the internet, just thought op’s post was sweet and obviously not in bad faith and thought everyone getting mad at it (aside from people talking about not having time to or covid that’s valid) was being ridiculous. anyways just got off the phone with an old friend hope you do the same since you seem wayyyy too angry, log out and have a happy new years 👍
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at the end of the day, I did and you didn't, I never get mad at "muh interwebz" lmao only a select few individuals who use it
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The person you responded to came out of a multiple day hibernation just to show so much concern on the OP's behalf about how it's "disgusting" for anyone to see that wholesome chungus "advice" as hostile.
And for what? Sometimes unsolicited "advice" is abrasive and hostile and it isn't the recipient's responsibility to thank abrasive and hostile people for the "advice."
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Totally not hostility in defense of not hostility.
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Disengage.
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LMAO yup
everyone in here is basically being like “well if a problem is societal then there’s nothing on a personal level we can do about it!”
by their logic, hunger is societal issue made worse by capitalism, guess there’s no point in me, an individual, feeding hungry.
the reaction to this post has made me realize how many users here are just flat out terminally online and out of touch with the real world and it’s kind of disgusting to see after frequenting this community since the r/cth days it’s genuinely upsetting to me
don't worry there's some normies still here
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Since you're a seahorse is outside the ocean for you
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I pray you get to enjoy more erotic asphyxiation and don't get eaten by a bird :rat-salute:
Nobody here is a normie, JFL at you for thinking you are and still posting here. Youre literally just a cuckservative larping as a leftist normie.
none of what you wrote here is true or makes any fucking sense. The ironic thing is that I have half a mind to log off from this website and never come back again at this point because the chance of meeting asinine neoliberalized fucks like yourself in social contexts outside are orders of magnitude lesser than on the internet, even on sites like this.
Holy Fujitsu too:
You previously posted a few times every 5-10 days according to your recent history, and now you only showed up to concern troll in multiple posts, especially here where you are calling other people on Hexbear "disgusting" for not being socially compliant enough to your standards.
That disgusts me. :sus-soviet:
i had a serious thing typed up in response but after re-reading i feel like you’re joking with me i can’t tell LMAO
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Calling people with ongoing social hangups, people lacking friends or family within easy reach, people with compromised immune systems or other health problems, and people with covid concerns "disgusting" isn't something that I'd joke about.
what? i don’t think those people are disgusting at all and feel for them. what’s disgusting is the hostility in the comments from a community i thought was a lot more friendly than this
Lmao, this is possibly the least friendly community I’ve ever encountered
well damn that’s unfortunate to hear :/ 90% of my interactions here and at r/cth were just lurking so i never really was that invested but discovering r/cth back in 2018/2019 was how i got into marxism and all that so that just sucks
Physician, heal thyself. You were particularly condescending in these comments because the oh so wholesome "touch grass, simple" advice was received unacceptably and you stirred from a several day slumber just to get worked up on their behalf in a totally-not-seeming-like-an-alt way.
“several day slumber” bro i just get on this website for 5-10 minutes like 1-2 days a week and engage here on a normal, casual level 😭 just because i don’t post here constantly doesn’t make me an alt jesus
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instant upvoting is crazy, respectfully i think you should log off. you’ve made some good points and i even responded to something else you said in the thread outside of this about something else and agreed with it, but i think a lot of this argument is just simple miscommunication (like you thinking i was calling those people disgusting for being asocial when i wasn’t) but the whole alt, instant upvoting, wrecker, concern trolling shit is just baffling and something an extremely online person’s head would go to which is why i thought you were joking at first
Now you're accusing me of mental illness (because mentally ill people are bad, amirite fellow leftists? :sus-soviet: ) because it's weird to see 3 points on your post literally seconds after you posted it, this far into a comment thread, at this time of night, after New Years where I myself only just came back from celebrating a few minutes ago.
:doubt:
Are you done concern trolling yet?
responses like this make me feel like you’re doing a bit but it’s driving me crazy because you’re actually making other genuine, well thought out points in other comments
and just in case this is fr, no i’m not accusing you of mental illness and no mentally ill people aren’t bad tf? saying a concept (instant upvoting) is crazy doesn’t mean i’m calling you that or saying “crazy” people are bad
I do not think when people use the word crazy they are actually implying mental illness.
In the context that it was used there, when I pointed out the dubious timing and intentions of that poster, it kind of did seem that way.
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it HAS to be a bit it HAS to be right?
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It's not used in a non-hostile way, that's for sure. I've seen posts on Hexbear given warnings for ableism for softer stuff than that.
You're also providing an awfully generous reading considering that poster was complaining about hostility to totally wholesome not condescending or abrasive at all to anyone that has any right to feel otherwise kinds of unsolicited advice and how "disgusting" that was.
This isn't what I expected to come back to, but you do you.
i wasn’t using it in a hostile way or actually calling you crazy (i was saying instant upvoting was crazy), i’m sorry if you took it that way
You're playing the victim after insulting people that didn't take the dubious "advice" well and how "crazy" it is for me to see signs of suspicious and bad faith posting from you.
I'm done with you.
i’m playing the victim for apologizing since you took something i said the wrong way? i’m not a fucking victim i was just trying to be nice to you since you seemed hurt by it and make it clear i wasn’t calling you crazy LMAO
my cover as an undercover chud fbi agent wrecker set on concern trolling people who are mad at someone saying to go outside is blown now though, all thanks to your remarkable detective work. everyone here at the agency is hoping to get you on the db cooper case
It's kind of telling how you're acting right now while saying it's "disgusting" for anyone to see hostility in the wholesome totally-not-hostile "touch grass" unsolicited advice in the OP.
I already said I was done with you.
i’m just matching your hostility since 1. it’s funny 2. i was engaging you in a nice manner and conceding when i thought you made a good point
also you know you can just stop responding right? 😭 if i keep responding you can just ignore it
Disengage.
upvoting because this actually made me laugh irl 😭
enjoy the new year (genuinely this isn’t sarcasm)
another "alt" here to tell you that your posts have been 100x more abrasive, hostile, and bad-faith than anyone else's in this thread
no i will stew resentfully in my room alone until world communism is achieved and covid is eradicated!
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Staying inside 24/7 alone is not coping it’s social isolation and self torture. Chances are communism is not going to be achieved in our lifetimes, or at least not for decades. You need to live your life in the meantime and take care of your social and physical needs
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literally everyone on earth needs to go outside and have friends, it's advice for everyone
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that sounds like very specific advise actually
If you thought the not-hostile unsolicited advice in the OP was not hostile, check out the not-hostility of the not-hostile advice defenders in this thread this morning. :lea-why: