here's the thing: everyone complains about late capitalism and how alienated and isolated we all are. everyone acknowledges this, and reassures each other of this, alone.

you need to get out of yourself, and your head, and your small bubble of one, and you need to go see old friends, or former friends, or people in your social circle who are just meh, or your annoying roommates, or your co-workers, or your former co-workers, or your lame family members, or your lame and bigoted family members, or strangers at a bar, or whomever, and party. meeting people is praxis, strengthening relationships is praxis, making yourself seen and vulnerable to another is praxis. please, guys, go out.

this, here, now, is a facsimile, mediated through a thousand screens. go kiss, go get kissed, go reject a kiss, go be denied a kiss. go out.

  • HauntedBySpectacle [he/him, comrade/them]
    ·
    2 years ago

    hexbear commenters and reading innocuous, well-intentioned posts as personal attacks in the most uncharitable way possible to air your grievances. name a better duo

  • Ho_Chi_Chungus [she/her]
    ·
    2 years ago

    no i am going to hide inside my room all day listening to podcasts and playing video games i don't like and then acting shocked when i hate myself

  • Yeat [he/him]
    ·
    2 years ago

    genuinely suprised at the reaction to this post

    obviously capitalist alienation isn’t our faults individually and is a societal problem and we shouldn’t be irresponsible about covid but you all are proving their point in a way jesus christ

    • Zodiark
      ·
      edit-2
      5 months ago

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      • Yeat [he/him]
        ·
        2 years ago

        exactly, you worded that well. i don’t feel like op had any ill intentions or posted this in bad faith though so to see everyone say “fuck you” to them seems very gross and mean.

        • Zodiark
          ·
          edit-2
          5 months ago

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              • Zodiark
                ·
                edit-2
                5 months ago

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            • Leper_Messiah [he/him]
              ·
              2 years ago

              Wait, was that an actual struggle session? I saw that post early and i chuckled because i thought it was funny...

              Is washing ass a controversial opinion?!

              • Spectre_of_Z_poster [they/them]
                ·
                edit-2
                2 years ago

                nah it devolved into a struggle session about bidets vs. toilet paper and which was bourgeois decadence. the user who thought a $15 bidet was middle class extravagance went off the rails and started insulting everyone until they were banned

        • UlyssesT
          ·
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          1 month ago

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          • Yeat [he/him]
            ·
            2 years ago

            you’re misreading what i’m saying or i just worded it poorly. someone not being outgoing isn’t “disgusting”, i’m not even very outgoing myself and don’t absolutely love being social, i tend to stick to myself a good chunk of the time. what’s disgusting is the REACTION to this post since it wasn’t made in bad faith and was obviously meant to be some nice encouragement to those op felt needed it, sorry for the mix up

            • UlyssesT
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              1 month ago

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              • Yeat [he/him]
                ·
                2 years ago

                i thought you were joking at first because of the emoji, how you worded things, you trying to imply i was a wrecker or something 😭 you do actually make a good point at the end there though, but i just cannot wrap my head around this being a hostile post at all

                • UlyssesT
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                  1 month ago

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                              • Spectre_of_Z_poster [they/them]
                                ·
                                2 years ago

                                you are vastly more hostile than anyone else in here, and every comment you make drips with condescension and like 6 layers of intention mind reading and assumptions

                                • UlyssesT
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                                  1 month ago

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                                  • Spectre_of_Z_poster [they/them]
                                    ·
                                    edit-2
                                    2 years ago

                                    do you ever stop and re-read your comments to see how you would sound to an outside person? you're always airing some ancient grievance of yours that you've built up over the months of obsessive posting, and you're always passive aggressively trying to dunk on people you argued with and one up them months later - resulting in these complex gordian knots of comments where the only thing outsiders can parse is the condescending tone and emojis, and the implications within implications that you are following are entirely lost to everyone else

                          • space_comrade [he/him]
                            ·
                            2 years ago

                            That’s an incredibly generous reading of both the OP and the prior replies leading up to here.

                            It's a pretty normal reading actually, it baffles me how anybody could be so upset at a post like that tbh.

                            • UlyssesT
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                              1 month ago

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                              • space_comrade [he/him]
                                ·
                                2 years ago

                                If your first reaction to somebody being happy and telling other people to be happy and socialize is "um ackschly sweaty..." you should probably do some introspection.

                                • UlyssesT
                                  ·
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                                  1 month ago

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                                  • space_comrade [he/him]
                                    ·
                                    2 years ago

                                    Apparently to you that interpretation is invalid.

                                    It's not invalid, it is unhealthy though.

                                    • UlyssesT
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                                      1 month ago

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                                      • space_comrade [he/him]
                                        ·
                                        edit-2
                                        2 years ago

                                        If they didn't like the post they could have just, you know, scrolled past it and not interact with it. OP wasn't calling out anybody in particular, it's entirely yours and their choice to take the post so seriously.

                                        • UlyssesT
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                                          1 month ago

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    • macabrett
      ·
      2 years ago

      I mean, as an immunocompromised individual, I just spent the third year of my life not being able to do anything so this post kinda sucks shit for me

      • Kuori [she/her]
        ·
        2 years ago

        yeah it doesn't really work for everyone

        p sure if i hit up my "lame and bigoted family members" to be "seen and vulnerable" they'd throw a rope around my neck

      • Yeat [he/him]
        ·
        2 years ago

        i clearly said “we shouldn’t be irresponsible about covid”

        • Kuori [she/her]
          ·
          2 years ago

          there's no controlling how others are about covid. as a society we are being irresponsible about covid and going out and socializing is accepting that you will almost certainly get it at some point in your life, most likely multiple times. whether or not that is personally devastating enough to you to keep you inside is obviously gonna be individual

        • GreenTeaRedFlag [any]
          ·
          2 years ago

          There is no way to visit random folks at parties and be safe about covid during a spike. It's just not possible.

  • Cherufe [he/him]
    ·
    2 years ago

    This site went from struggling about cats being outside to struggling about oneself being outside

  • AHopeOnceMore [he/him]B
    ·
    2 years ago

    Do that but also, you know, be careful wrt the ongoing mass disabling global pandemic

  • SuperNovaCouchGuy2 [any]
    ·
    2 years ago

    Just. Fucking. LOL.

    Instead of: "Hey guys NYE was really fun for me, I had a great time in the city with my coworkers and friends, even kissed a few people I liked."

    Its: "BY MY DECREE, CAPITALIST ALIENATION IS A PERSONAL PROBLEM, ITS ALL IN YOUR HEAD BRO JUST GO OUTSIDE."

    Skys the limit for the levels of ridiculous condescension disguised as advice from normie radlibs. Literally like extrapolating: "mentally ill ppl should just think more positively" from a time you were sad and then the weather changed and you became happy. Like good for you bro but fuck off with the sermon.

    • UlyssesT
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      1 month ago

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      • SuperNovaCouchGuy2 [any]
        ·
        2 years ago

        This persons condescension is ironically a symptom of capitalist alienation, a combination of being so far removed from the real situations and lives of others that you think your ineffectual platitudes are the word of god and not knowing how to sincerely relate to others about having a good experience other than talking at/down to them.

        • UlyssesT
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          1 month ago

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        1 month ago

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        • Yeat [he/him]
          ·
          2 years ago

          you’re definitely right but i don’t think it’s fair to expect patience and all of that out of a simple 3 paragraph post, that comes with forming a personal connection with someone and communicating with them over a long period of time. i also don’t really see how the op is tough love or aggressive or anything like that either, they aren’t looking down on other users for not going out or saying anything bad about them

          • UlyssesT
            ·
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            1 month ago

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            • robot_dog_with_gun [they/them]
              ·
              2 years ago

              Encouraging people to go out and take risks and be emotionally vulnerable (which is indeed necessary for personal growth because we are social creatures) is a lot easier when the person feels like someone is there to catch them if they metaphorically fall. For that reason, the encouragement works best when it’s personal and personalized, or at the very least patient and understanding if it’s from someone the person doesn’t know too closely.

              :chefs-kiss:

      • SuperNovaCouchGuy2 [any]
        ·
        edit-2
        2 years ago

        if you want to be happy in your lifetime the solution has to personal.

        "we all eat from the trashcan" :zizek-ok:

        Sorry it only works if you're lucky. At the end of the day thats not even true because the solution depends on forming meaningful bonds with other people so it cannot categorically be a personal solution* JFL.

        Not a single word beyond that either lmao

        jk you have the same problem as OP, literally good for you that you are feeling better now but fuck off with the condescension. It isn't that the advice isn't valid, its simply that OP's post isn't advice in the first place.

        OP is just an antisocial normie who happened to have a good night out on New Years with his buddy boyos. However, unlike the vast majority of other people who experienced the same, OP decided to make a condescending bragpost about it on the internet because they don't know any other way to share and process their joy other than to use it to talk down to people. Its fucking sad and reeks of soylent.

        • Yeat [he/him]
          ·
          edit-2
          2 years ago

          i’m sorry but you’re being a million times more condescending, rude, and bitter than op and the person you’re responding to. them saying “hey this advice worked for me” is not them being condescending to you jesus fucking christ

          and nowhere in this post was op bragging or talking down, it was obviously encouragement to be more social more than anything. i didn’t have any plans this nye but when i read this i didn’t throw a fit i thought “yeah they’re not wrong there’s some old friends i could probably send a text too” and “i definitely need stay off social media more”and assuming that they went out and partied and calling them “an antisocial normie” just reeks of projection and just being terminally online. i mean this in the most respectful way possible: please log off for a bit and go text some old friends or family or do something not on your phone/computer for an extended period of time.

            • Yeat [he/him]
              ·
              2 years ago

              i’m not pissed at you just thought your comment was embarrassing and a bit over the top, and i do have a good group of friends the fuck are you talking about 😭 these assumptions you’re making about me are just bat shit insane you don’t know me lil bro, that whole thing genuinely might be the most insufferable and incomprehensible thing i’ve ever read, all over someone telling you to “get out” LMFAOOO

              also don’t know why you’re telling me to pick up a dictionary i just literally quoted back what you said to them since you called them antisocial and you keep talking about my comprehension skills when i never said op said the word advice, the guy you were replying to said the word advice jesus christ 😭😭 yes “you need to go out” grammatically speaking is a command but cmon it just isn’t that big of a deal, and the title isn’t “i had a fun time this nye” because the post isn’t about them or a bragpost, it’s telling OTHER people to get out.

              and i can’t believe you’re saying op is bragging when you literally just fucking bragged about what you did for nye and tried to rub it in my face when i said i didn’t do anything and managed to word it in the nerdiest way possible, which is just extremely pathetic you hypocritical dork. it’s not “telling” that i didn’t do anything. i fucking work, something clearly you don’t do since you spend all day crying online. the only one punching down here is you

              i don’t need advice off the internet, just thought op’s post was sweet and obviously not in bad faith and thought everyone getting mad at it (aside from people talking about not having time to or covid that’s valid) was being ridiculous. anyways just got off the phone with an old friend hope you do the same since you seem wayyyy too angry, log out and have a happy new years 👍

              • SuperNovaCouchGuy2 [any]
                ·
                2 years ago

                at the end of the day, I did and you didn't, I never get mad at "muh interwebz" lmao only a select few individuals who use it

            • UlyssesT
              ·
              edit-2
              1 month ago

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          • Yeat [he/him]
            ·
            2 years ago

            LMAO yup

            everyone in here is basically being like “well if a problem is societal then there’s nothing on a personal level we can do about it!”

            by their logic, hunger is societal issue made worse by capitalism, guess there’s no point in me, an individual, feeding hungry.

            the reaction to this post has made me realize how many users here are just flat out terminally online and out of touch with the real world and it’s kind of disgusting to see after frequenting this community since the r/cth days it’s genuinely upsetting to me

                • Sandinband
                  ·
                  2 years ago

                  Since you're a seahorse is outside the ocean for you

                    • Sandinband
                      ·
                      2 years ago

                      I pray you get to enjoy more erotic asphyxiation and don't get eaten by a bird :rat-salute:

              • SuperNovaCouchGuy2 [any]
                ·
                2 years ago

                Nobody here is a normie, JFL at you for thinking you are and still posting here. Youre literally just a cuckservative larping as a leftist normie.

            • SuperNovaCouchGuy2 [any]
              ·
              2 years ago

              everyone in here is basically being like “well if a problem is societal then there’s nothing on a personal level we can do about it!”

              by their logic, hunger is societal issue made worse by capitalism, guess there’s no point in me, an individual, feeding hungry.

              none of what you wrote here is true or makes any fucking sense. The ironic thing is that I have half a mind to log off from this website and never come back again at this point because the chance of meeting asinine neoliberalized fucks like yourself in social contexts outside are orders of magnitude lesser than on the internet, even on sites like this.

              Holy Fujitsu too:

              many users here are just flat out terminally online and out of touch with the real world

              (I have been) frequenting this community since the r/cth days it’s genuinely upsetting to me

            • UlyssesT
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              edit-2
              1 month ago

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              • Yeat [he/him]
                ·
                2 years ago

                i had a serious thing typed up in response but after re-reading i feel like you’re joking with me i can’t tell LMAO

                • UlyssesT
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                  edit-2
                  1 month ago

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                  • Yeat [he/him]
                    ·
                    2 years ago

                    what? i don’t think those people are disgusting at all and feel for them. what’s disgusting is the hostility in the comments from a community i thought was a lot more friendly than this

                    • Spectre_of_Z_poster [they/them]
                      ·
                      2 years ago

                      what’s disgusting is the hostility in the comments from a community i thought was a lot more friendly than this

                      Lmao, this is possibly the least friendly community I’ve ever encountered

                      • Yeat [he/him]
                        ·
                        2 years ago

                        well damn that’s unfortunate to hear :/ 90% of my interactions here and at r/cth were just lurking so i never really was that invested but discovering r/cth back in 2018/2019 was how i got into marxism and all that so that just sucks

                    • UlyssesT
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                      1 month ago

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                      • Yeat [he/him]
                        ·
                        2 years ago

                        “several day slumber” bro i just get on this website for 5-10 minutes like 1-2 days a week and engage here on a normal, casual level 😭 just because i don’t post here constantly doesn’t make me an alt jesus

                        • UlyssesT
                          ·
                          edit-2
                          1 month ago

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                          • Yeat [he/him]
                            ·
                            edit-2
                            2 years ago

                            instant upvoting is crazy, respectfully i think you should log off. you’ve made some good points and i even responded to something else you said in the thread outside of this about something else and agreed with it, but i think a lot of this argument is just simple miscommunication (like you thinking i was calling those people disgusting for being asocial when i wasn’t) but the whole alt, instant upvoting, wrecker, concern trolling shit is just baffling and something an extremely online person’s head would go to which is why i thought you were joking at first

                            • UlyssesT
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                              1 month ago

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                              • Yeat [he/him]
                                ·
                                2 years ago

                                responses like this make me feel like you’re doing a bit but it’s driving me crazy because you’re actually making other genuine, well thought out points in other comments

                                and just in case this is fr, no i’m not accusing you of mental illness and no mentally ill people aren’t bad tf? saying a concept (instant upvoting) is crazy doesn’t mean i’m calling you that or saying “crazy” people are bad

                                • UlyssesT
                                  ·
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                                  1 month ago

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                                • Yeat [he/him]
                                  ·
                                  2 years ago

                                  it HAS to be a bit it HAS to be right?

                                • UlyssesT
                                  ·
                                  edit-2
                                  1 month ago

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                                  • Yeat [he/him]
                                    ·
                                    2 years ago

                                    i wasn’t using it in a hostile way or actually calling you crazy (i was saying instant upvoting was crazy), i’m sorry if you took it that way

                                    • UlyssesT
                                      ·
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                                      1 month ago

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                                      • Yeat [he/him]
                                        ·
                                        edit-2
                                        2 years ago

                                        i’m playing the victim for apologizing since you took something i said the wrong way? i’m not a fucking victim i was just trying to be nice to you since you seemed hurt by it and make it clear i wasn’t calling you crazy LMAO

                                        my cover as an undercover chud fbi agent wrecker set on concern trolling people who are mad at someone saying to go outside is blown now though, all thanks to your remarkable detective work. everyone here at the agency is hoping to get you on the db cooper case

                                        • UlyssesT
                                          ·
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                                          1 month ago

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                                          • Yeat [he/him]
                                            ·
                                            2 years ago

                                            i’m just matching your hostility since 1. it’s funny 2. i was engaging you in a nice manner and conceding when i thought you made a good point

                                            also you know you can just stop responding right? 😭 if i keep responding you can just ignore it

                                            • UlyssesT
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                                              1 month ago

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                                              • Yeat [he/him]
                                                ·
                                                2 years ago

                                                upvoting because this actually made me laugh irl 😭

                                                enjoy the new year (genuinely this isn’t sarcasm)

                          • thisismyrealname [he/him]
                            ·
                            2 years ago

                            another "alt" here to tell you that your posts have been 100x more abrasive, hostile, and bad-faith than anyone else's in this thread

    • UlyssesT
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      edit-2
      1 month ago

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  • 4zi [he/him, comrade/them]
    ·
    edit-2
    2 years ago

    Tangentially related but I just moved out of a slum apartment block in a really bad part of town to a decent ‘nice’ ‘luxury’ apartment complex in a wealthier area and i wasn’t prepared for how socially alienating it is being in the nicer place. I miss my old neighbors terribly, and didn’t realize how much I was actually interacting with them each day. Every time I passed by my next door neighbor outside smoking I would bum a cig and we would chat. And he never minded because he was an older man who loved to tell stories. Me and another neighbor always did our laundry at the same time so we would bring beers in the laundry room and bullshit around. Sometimes when I would use the grill another neighbor would come up and we’d talk about food or whatever. Even though I lived alone, I never really was alone.

    Now I’m in a nice place where the forced socialization isn’t really there by design. The most interaction I’ve had with my next door neighbor is meeting them on the elevator, and it was just a friendly introduction and that was really it. No one wants to talk, everyone has their headphones in. It’s incredibly lonely.

    • GalaxyBrain [they/them]
      ·
      2 years ago

      Solution I have found: be thar fucking weirdo that just goes up to people and goes in for a full conversation like an Elder Scrolls player character. Shit just like, works. I chatted up a sweet old lady about this mutual neighborhoud cat we both pet and found out she was being illegally evicted in a way that i acrually dealt with before. She started by asking about apartments in the area and then explained her situation, I had been through the exact same scenario and it's all sorts of illegal to boot her out, it's being sold to another landlord and unless the buyer plans to say turn a flat back into a house and acrually occupy it, they cant remove tennants

      • GaveUp [she/her]
        ·
        edit-2
        2 years ago

        100%. If you've ever heard people randomly just saying shit outloud to nobody/everybody on the bus, subway, or at a bar, it's not always because of a psychotic break/drunkness. Often times it's just somebody looking to start a conversation and they know eventually, somebody will respond to their loud monologue ramblings

        • GalaxyBrain [they/them]
          ·
          2 years ago

          And that person is me. I tricked myself into thinking i had bad social skills for a while but I am a fucking people at heart big time and after admitting it ive been described on more thsn one occasion as 'really fucking charming'. People are cool and fun for the most part, as far as figuring out who, if you smoke, other smokers but in general, old people are down hard to chit chat .

            • GalaxyBrain [they/them]
              ·
              edit-2
              2 years ago

              Also, I speak English and French but specialize in shitty translations of languages i dont speak:

              me: “hey, whered you get those llamas?”

              kid: “[kid’s name]”

              me: “my llamas [strawberry].”

              kid: …

              me: …

            • GalaxyBrain [they/them]
              ·
              2 years ago

              I have a LOT going on that talking to people well was as easy as deciding to talk to people. Like, all my best qualities are for speech checks, ive always been and knew pretty really on that im fucking hilarious, very quick witted and am a massive langugage need and have a huge vocabulary. So yeah, for me it was a matter of getting over myself and finding out it's probably my greatest asset and that is also why i advocate it, but yeah, different people have diferent root causes.

      • CanYouFeelItMrKrabs [any, he/him]
        ·
        2 years ago

        This makes sense because I've formed friendships with who were just talking to me out of nowhere. Even if I was initially annoyed/nervous by them talking

    • GaveUp [she/her]
      ·
      edit-2
      2 years ago

      People who make a lot of money are very open to socializing at more luxurious events/places

      Rock climbing gyms, golf, and tennis for example are some places where people are very open

      I've noticed what you said and I don't really get why people who make more money are less open to socializing in random places

      • 4zi [he/him, comrade/them]
        ·
        2 years ago

        More so the nicer complex is designed so you aren’t forced to socialize. Everyone has their own washer dryer, so you don’t have to leave your apartment to use the laundry room. Everyone has a balcony, so if you want to raise plants you do it on that instead of in a community garden, etc.

        Maybe it’s just the culture of the new community I’m in but every time I try to strike up a conversation, it just goes nowhere quick. People only leave their apartment to pick up food courier orders or go to work.

  • HoChiMaxh [he/him]
    ·
    2 years ago

    This is good advice. It makes me sad how sad so many Hexbear members are. I wish it wasn't so :fedposting: to ask people here to come hang out my org has a bunch of cool people y'all would like

    • GaveUp [she/her]
      ·
      edit-2
      2 years ago

      You can invite me to hang out. I'll flash you and smoke a joint in front of you to prove I'm not a :fedposting:

  • robot_dog_with_gun [they/them]
    ·
    2 years ago

    lol it's winter and all the inside things cost money and will probably give me covid if i manage to dodge all the liberals drunk driving

  • LENINSGHOSTFACEKILLA [he/him]
    ·
    2 years ago

    this, here, now, is a facsimile, mediated through a thousand screens. go kiss, go get kissed, go reject a kiss, go be denied a kiss. go out.

    new hope-pilled site greeting. just do it.

  • commenter [none/use name]
    ·
    2 years ago

    I got COVID on an airplane is that fucking out enough for you. I can't fucking stand posts like this, I'm alone in NYE because other people couldn't wear a fucking mask while coughing in public. I'm fucking done with 'out', and honestly I'm very happy being alone 99% of the time.