So, why is this the case? The ultimate goal of online dating apps should be to function as a conduit in creating committed relationships, right? Wrong. The realm of online dating has become a multi-billion dollar industry — an industry that profits primarily off of user addiction, especially by keeping its users single. The way that the industry accomplishes this is twofold, relying on qualities of gamification and what psychologist Barry Schwartz refers to as the “paradox of choice.”
The presence of the choice paradox in online dating is perhaps best understood through the analogy of online shopping. Studies have shown that as shoppers are exposed to more options for potential purchases, they are paradoxically less likely to be satisfied with their ultimate decision. As our brains become inundated with a variety of choices, we often experience choice paralysis: An anxiety-induced state that prevents us from making a resounding decision.
On Tinder, the user’s experience of choice overload has become a frequent occurrence. In the emergence of what some are calling “serial swipers,” many users can be seen displaying strong hesitations to commit to a singular option due to fears of missing out on a potentially better one.
The infiltration of the choice paradox into the realm of relationships is especially dangerous. Unlike the case of online shopping, users aren’t choosing between products, they’re choosing between people. The resulting world of online dating has become a breeding ground for objectification, sexual harassment and insecurity, as choices are increasingly influenced by abundance and appearances rather than genuine compatibility.
The instant gratification offered by each ‘match’ causes the idea of exclusivity to appear unsettling, with many individuals remaining addicted to these apps even in committed relationships. Specifically, 30% of Tinder users are married, and another 12% are in relationships. Because of this, the online dating world has become a hotbed for cheating and noncommittal sex. Users find themselves immersed in an endless, twisted game, where matches and hookups function as points to keep score.
I don't think I'm unattractive (tall, white, young, average physically active dude w/ no muscles bc I dislike the gym) but I very rarely get likes on the apps anymore
Partially my own fault but I haven't dated anyone in 6 months bc at least 95% of conversations are like 1-2 messages then radio silence. Most bios contain no information about things that are important to me like hobbies, and I'm uncomfortable with flirting 🤷♂️
I think hinge is the best one but all of them suck
30% of users being married is absolutely wild to me lmao
Women rate 80% of men as below average.
:yea:
cool, I have all of this except understanding how to take a good picture.
maybe you could ask a friend who's good at social media to snap a few pictures of you?
I haven't had a friend IRL for like 14 years :deeper-sadness:
literally nobody to snap a picture of me or even hang out with...
:agony-deep: sorry to hit a sore spot comrade.
oh no, it's fine. I just don't even know where to begin fixing myself. lol
You're not disproving my point, you know.
Heck, I only said 80%, you've upped that to 95%.
:yea:
Yeah but it isnt hard to be in the top 5%. Like, it really isnt.
It's hard enough that 95% of men are incapable of it.
because the culture is fucked.
It's going to be difficult for any man to be in the top 5% no matter what. That's how percentages work.
as soon as men stop sending casual threats of violence to women that scale would be re-evaluated. dont be so fucking stupid.
The top 5% will always be the top 5%. The bottom 95% will always be there. You can't suddenly put 50% of men into the top 5%. You can re-evaluate all you want and percentages don't change.
Don't call me fucking stupid. What we have here is innumeracy.
You're stupid as fuck :shrug-outta-hecks:
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We are posting in a forum that is very inclusive but kinda selects for people in the top 5% of geographic and historical literacy. Less than 1% of people can really be said to be like us. We're used to this idea.
Lake Wobegon, where all the children are above average
Possible for virtually all the children to be above average if there's one child that catastrophically sucks
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But i hate fashion
If you wear just a basic tshirt and pants that are clean thats fine. Be sure they fit you right and youre all good.
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And it gets worse if you’re not white. Yeah, it’s just “preferences” that people (not just women) find non-white people less attractive on average. Nothing to do with white supremacy at all.
have you met 80% of men?
No.
But I'm certain 80% of men aren't below average. 50% of men are below average.
don’t mathsplain men to me
50% of men are below median
yeah as a fellow reasonably attractive young white guy, I get next to no likes outside of the first like 24 hours where the app shows your profile to everybody to try to get you hooked.
if you don't pay, you're gonna get nothing from the app, no matter what you look like, bc they just won't show your profile to anybody. insidious and evil, but thankfully we live in the best of all possible worlds, so we know that there's no way these apps could be better
Death to America
i hate flirting too. and had the same frustrations with no one putting their interests in their bio (or even having a bio). i find it helped to start with a genuine, specific compliment abt one of their pictures (obv not a creepy one, and dont make it solely abt their attractiveness) and then start asking abt their interests (what do you do for fun?/whats ur ideal day off?) and talk abt those. hinge is kinda cringe imo, most ppl i saw there were conservative, orange, white women. i met my gf on bumble and next month we celebrate our 1 year!!
30% seems so high lol. I see people I know from real life on dating apps like once a week... Are they not getting caught?
a proportion is consensual with the spouse id assume
No doubt.
Then try to meet people outside of dating apps