Dating apps are making it harder to make meaningful connections.

So, why is this the case? The ultimate goal of online dating apps should be to function as a conduit in creating committed relationships, right? Wrong. The realm of online dating has become a multi-billion dollar industry — an industry that profits primarily off of user addiction, especially by keeping its users single. The way that the industry accomplishes this is twofold, relying on qualities of gamification and what psychologist Barry Schwartz refers to as the “paradox of choice.”

The presence of the choice paradox in online dating is perhaps best understood through the analogy of online shopping. Studies have shown that as shoppers are exposed to more options for potential purchases, they are paradoxically less likely to be satisfied with their ultimate decision. As our brains become inundated with a variety of choices, we often experience choice paralysis: An anxiety-induced state that prevents us from making a resounding decision.

On Tinder, the user’s experience of choice overload has become a frequent occurrence. In the emergence of what some are calling “serial swipers,” many users can be seen displaying strong hesitations to commit to a singular option due to fears of missing out on a potentially better one.

The infiltration of the choice paradox into the realm of relationships is especially dangerous. Unlike the case of online shopping, users aren’t choosing between products, they’re choosing between people. The resulting world of online dating has become a breeding ground for objectification, sexual harassment and insecurity, as choices are increasingly influenced by abundance and appearances rather than genuine compatibility.

The instant gratification offered by each ‘match’ causes the idea of exclusivity to appear unsettling, with many individuals remaining addicted to these apps even in committed relationships. Specifically, 30% of Tinder users are married, and another 12% are in relationships. Because of this, the online dating world has become a hotbed for cheating and noncommittal sex. Users find themselves immersed in an endless, twisted game, where matches and hookups function as points to keep score.

      • bigboopballs [he/him]
        ·
        2 years ago

        Legit, if you have basic hygiene, plain shirts and pants, an OK picture, and aren’t an absolute psychopath, you ARE in the top 5% of men.

        cool, I have all of this except understanding how to take a good picture.

        • Kuori [she/her]
          ·
          2 years ago

          maybe you could ask a friend who's good at social media to snap a few pictures of you?

          • bigboopballs [he/him]
            ·
            2 years ago

            I haven't had a friend IRL for like 14 years :deeper-sadness:

            literally nobody to snap a picture of me or even hang out with...

            • Kuori [she/her]
              ·
              2 years ago

              :agony-deep: sorry to hit a sore spot comrade.

              • bigboopballs [he/him]
                ·
                2 years ago

                oh no, it's fine. I just don't even know where to begin fixing myself. lol

      • waterfox [none/use name]
        ·
        2 years ago

        You're not disproving my point, you know.

        Heck, I only said 80%, you've upped that to 95%.

        :yea:

        • kristina [she/her]
          ·
          2 years ago

          Yeah but it isnt hard to be in the top 5%. Like, it really isnt.

              • waterfox [none/use name]
                ·
                2 years ago

                It's going to be difficult for any man to be in the top 5% no matter what. That's how percentages work.

                • kristina [she/her]
                  ·
                  2 years ago

                  as soon as men stop sending casual threats of violence to women that scale would be re-evaluated. dont be so fucking stupid.

                  • waterfox [none/use name]
                    ·
                    2 years ago

                    The top 5% will always be the top 5%. The bottom 95% will always be there. You can't suddenly put 50% of men into the top 5%. You can re-evaluate all you want and percentages don't change.

                    Don't call me fucking stupid. What we have here is innumeracy.

                • infuziSporg [e/em/eir]
                  ·
                  2 years ago

                  We are posting in a forum that is very inclusive but kinda selects for people in the top 5% of geographic and historical literacy. Less than 1% of people can really be said to be like us. We're used to this idea.

            • crime [she/her, any]
              ·
              2 years ago

              Possible for virtually all the children to be above average if there's one child that catastrophically sucks

        • kristina [she/her]
          ·
          2 years ago

          If you wear just a basic tshirt and pants that are clean thats fine. Be sure they fit you right and youre all good.

    • stinky [any]
      ·
      2 years ago

      And it gets worse if you’re not white. Yeah, it’s just “preferences” that people (not just women) find non-white people less attractive on average. Nothing to do with white supremacy at all.