I wish I could say it took a fancy job or a substantial pay raise to bring me to leave a career in law enforcement, but that simply isn’t the case. I’m done being randomly flipped off, cursed at, attacked, and hated based on what I wear to work. The tension is exhausting. I’m done being forced to watch lawlessness and savage behavior while it’s being normalized and used for political gain. I’m done dealing with the horrible things that take place every night while people go about their lives clueless and judging those who do face those evils.

The willingness to serve the community like I once believed in is gone. The way society is becoming and the war on police make the sacrifice no longer worth it. Seeing parts of the city look like a third world country while excuses are made to normalize it just isn’t something I can maintain restraint and witness take place anymore, especially after the recent chaos. The fact cities and departments have to plan ahead knowing the normal behavior is to expect more lawlessness and riots regardless of the outcome of the election is something I’m no longer going to be a part of. It’d be a different story if these same cities allowed police officers to be police officers and maintain order.

The physical restraint is gone after these last several months and I’m to the point I’m going to react, I’m not going to stand there another night shaking in frustration while I’m taunted, having things thrown at me, or attacked. A warranted reaction that almost anyone would have in a given situation isn’t something there is room for as an officer since we can’t rely on our localities or departments to back and support us. They’ve literally stripped police from having the ability to effectively do their jobs and maintain law and order. I struggle to understand how the masses find this safe for any American citizens. It’s made coming to work an uncomfortable and miserable feeling which is draining. It makes me feel like sacrificing my peace of mind to maintain peace for the community isn’t worth it anymore.

I didn’t join to bring terrible shit home with me at the end of the night. I didn’t join to fight anyone or make everything a pissing match. I didn’t join to always feel tense and under attack. I didn’t join to babysit adults who don’t know how to act civilized. I didn’t join to be painted as the bad guy while we bend and cater to criminals with no sense of accountability. I damn sure didn’t join to lose myself and become cynical while dealing with all the worst things our world faces. I sacrificed time with loved ones, friends, a normal life, and my overall health. I lost sleep over things that while encountering them, I related to in a way or was affected by. After 9 years of wearing a badge, I quit. I quit prioritizing the safety and needs of strangers in the community while sacrificing my own. I quit being a pawn to be put in the middle of current affairs and made out to be the enemy to the people I encounter and keep safe every night. I quit being away from my loved ones to be there for yours in time of need.

Those who seem to be the most opinionated also seem to base opinions and actions on emotion rather than educating themselves with facts or having first hand experience. There is a lot of ignorance running through our communities and a major lack in accountability. However officers are being hung out to dry for doing their jobs. I’ve seen coworkers treated unfairly in the court system and internally in the department they work for purely to appease the citizens and make an unwarranted example of an officer. However there remains a level of expectation to be a police officer with your hands tied behind your back. It’s building hesitation and distrust, which is an even more unsafe dynamic. I’ve seen officers put out of work while acting in good faith and doing their best in a damned if you do, damned if you don’t situation. Regardless of an individual’s feelings and beliefs, pushing hatred and acting aggressive towards another person without any cause other than their profession or race is wrong and common sense should tell us that. Common sense should also tell us that an asshole is an asshole and just because an encounter involves people of different races, doesn’t mean it was racially motivated.

We should also take into account the differences between unfamiliarity, discomfort, or biases towards a person or group that someone may not understand or necessarily have a good memory of vs racism. You want to remove police, I’ll remove myself happily. An officer that’s volunteered with underprivileged youth, one who instead of issuing drug charges sought help and got placement in a halfway house program for strangers, one with good community relations and one as capable in any situation as any other officer. I will worry less, stress less, and cry less. I will sleep better, smile more, and feel better overall. I will be another civilian but I will always stand for what I believe in and I will stand behind those who continue to hold down our communities and keep this country in tact while it’s being ripped apart from all directions.

I just won’t be representing a department or put in an impossible position that risks my life, my freedom, or my ability to provide for my family. Simply put, Ima do me and take my talents elsewhere ✌🏼

P.S if you think there aren’t officers trying and ready to leave law enforcement across the country, better think again. A lot of people are behind the scenes finding a way out while lowering their standards as to what it’d take to bring them to leave. Officers are beginning to hear from former co workers how much better they feel after getting out of law enforcement and can relate to the areas which are impacted and matter most to many. Officers are tired of being targeted and silenced while sacrificing more than most can imagine, including peace of mind which can’t be bought. They’re tired of their family life being affected or entirely stripped from them because of this job. Officers are congratulating those who do find their way out of the profession, that’s how unhealthy of an environment it is becoming. Keep pushing because I look forward to seeing people live better and feel better when they stop burdening themselves with everyone else’s bullshit and get on with their lives. I’ll hold my loved ones down and keep my household safe and then when shit hits the fan and there’s nobody to call or cry to, will you?

EDIT: this turned into way more than I intended it to be but people love to spread misleading information and lie like the media. I need to make it clear, I work and have only worked in Richmond Police Department in Richmond, VA. People are associating me with an article in 2016 in a different state about someone making a racist post who happens to have the same name as me. Ive never even had a twitter account 🤦‍♂️ This race baiting and blind leading the blind to push more negativity and division just proves my point and so many others.