No shade to any comrades here in that role. I'm just venting because 1) I hate my job and am officially "quiet quitting," and 2) I've sent out over 120 job applications today and I'm fuckign tired.

  • invalidusernamelol [he/him]
    ·
    10 months ago

    I built all the tracking stuff at my job. It's got a really shiny interface and looks super legit for when the owner walks by, but I bullshit all the numbers on the backend so no one looks bad

    (He was gonna implement tracking no matter what, but when I stepped up to build the system it saved him like $1000/month and let us make up our own metrics)

    • Yurt_Owl
      ·
      10 months ago

      That's the thing the metrics never need to be real just need to make the person at the top happy enough to never ask questions.

      • barrbaric [he/him]
        ·
        10 months ago

        My boss: "We need to change how we report these new metrics, they're making us look bad."

        Me: "Okay" adds 20% to all of them "How's that"

      • invalidusernamelol [he/him]
        ·
        10 months ago

        As long as work is being done everything is fine, just make sure they have something pretty to put in their powerpoints

        • invalidusernamelol [he/him]
          ·
          10 months ago

          One thing I will give my boss is that when we had a new guy with noticably bad metrics (like one billable item in 3 months) he listened to me when I said it was our fault.

          Kept the guy on under my wing and showed that he just hadn't been trained properly. Let him know the next day that he had a month of my keeping him on even if he just called out every day to find a new job, now he's like a huge part of the company.

          That experience alone was enough to make it so the only way to get fired here is to literally bring a gun to work or be such a chauvinist that you get the can.

    • D61 [any]
      ·
      10 months ago

      That's fucking praxis right there.

    • silent_water [she/her]
      ·
      10 months ago

      you obfuscated the calculation in the code so it's hard to turn it back around on you, right?

      • invalidusernamelol [he/him]
        ·
        10 months ago

        It's all just docker shit sadly. But I got all the relationships between services set up to be basically impossible to replicate.

        I'm also the only person in the whole company who knows anything about programming, so there's no chance they can replace me and I'm doing things so outside normal procedures that unless they can find someone willing to untangle my shit for 3x my salary they're stuck with me lol