How to not be a mediocre partner: learn to regulate your own emotions, and don’t expect your partner to fix all your insecurities.
It takes lot of energy to date someone who expects you to fix all their emotional problems. In my eyes the men who expect that are mediocre partners.
Many of my female friends who date(d) men also found themselves in that position. In my experience women often work much harder on their relationships than men. If you’re able to put in the same amount of work then you’ll a great partner to some lucky person.
If you’re not able to put in the same amount of work then you’re lucky, because for some reason many women are accepting of such relationships.
I think maybe my position is one where things are skewed by young women making a similar error to what (frankly) men of all ages make with overemphasized attractiveness in their selection and winding up with a partner who is a hot mess, if you'll pardon the pun.
In my experience that’s not really the case, as most women in my circles who date men often go for the not conventionally attractive types. I find it difficult to imagine someone to be too unattractive to date, because perception of attractiveness is very often determined by personality as well.
But dating life is very different depending on social status and culture so your experience can be completely different.
Not really to be honest, it’s mostly that they had many common interests. I have many alternative and nerdy friends, so they just like kind or funny people who like the same music, games or books.
Christ, well hopefully I encounter an environment where people are that magnanimous one day (though I'll seek to apply your advice about being a stable person irrespective)
How to not be a mediocre partner: learn to regulate your own emotions, and don’t expect your partner to fix all your insecurities.
It takes lot of energy to date someone who expects you to fix all their emotional problems. In my eyes the men who expect that are mediocre partners.
Many of my female friends who date(d) men also found themselves in that position. In my experience women often work much harder on their relationships than men. If you’re able to put in the same amount of work then you’ll a great partner to some lucky person.
If you’re not able to put in the same amount of work then you’re lucky, because for some reason many women are accepting of such relationships.
I think maybe my position is one where things are skewed by young women making a similar error to what (frankly) men of all ages make with overemphasized attractiveness in their selection and winding up with a partner who is a hot mess, if you'll pardon the pun.
In my experience that’s not really the case, as most women in my circles who date men often go for the not conventionally attractive types. I find it difficult to imagine someone to be too unattractive to date, because perception of attractiveness is very often determined by personality as well.
But dating life is very different depending on social status and culture so your experience can be completely different.
That's fair. So were they just charming then?
Not really to be honest, it’s mostly that they had many common interests. I have many alternative and nerdy friends, so they just like kind or funny people who like the same music, games or books.
Christ, well hopefully I encounter an environment where people are that magnanimous one day (though I'll seek to apply your advice about being a stable person irrespective)