So I've had a pretty good run, career-wise. I did the follow-my-passions thing (for computer touching) and it worked out. The problem is that there are very few jobs of any social utility whatsoever to be had as a programmer in the US.
The thing I'm encountering is everyone in my social class (unless they're only driven by money) seems to want that same thing: a prestigious, engaging & creative job that pays well, allows one to cultivate & showcase their individual talent, and has positive social utility. Unfortunately I haven't ever actually come across one of these jobs. The closest is just people lying to themselves that their app does anything other than speedrun exploitation of marginal workers while making people in their own social class more comfortable.
When I think about social utility it makes sense to consider what things I require to live my day-to-day life, and think about what jobs are required to provide those things. Unfortunately here I run into what I think is a bourgeois mindset ingrained from birth: none of those jobs are good enough. Think about a shopkeeper, or someone sitting at the help desk at the subway station, or a picker at an Amazon warehouse. If I took one of these jobs my parents and social circle would all believe that I had literally gone insane. Objectively, every one of these jobs is necessary for contemporary society to function and the people filling them have easily contributed more social utility than my entire programming career. And yet the idea I could actually take one of those jobs runs into gigantic barriers that exist in my mind. A local political org is working to salt Amazon warehouses and this seems like a pretty easy way for me to get in. But I just can't do it. Every time I try to articulate the idea I could work in an Amazon warehouse to one of my friends it starts to sound like a joke.
To me this indicates I have a fundamentally non-proletarian and thus anti-marxist mindset. I've worked jobs like this before graduating university and I know they suck. They are boring, the pay is bad, and worst of all - you get absolutely no respect. The lack of respect is what really sticks with me in my memories of those jobs, and still makes me burn with anger over a decade later.
Anyway I'm rambling but I guess my question is - does anybody relate to holding this attitude toward employment either now or at some point, and more importantly how does one overcome it?
I've never had a career and only had "jobs" but the only time I can remember having this type of ... shame?... about certain "types" of jobs was from middle/high school until a year or two after I dropped out of college.
It was working a few years in a grocery store that I realized that all those jobs that were described to me as unskilled, worthless and by extension those that held those positions worthless too were jobs that required skill and experience to do well. Then I felt pretty fucking stupid for having spent a chunk of my young life (up to that point) kinda looking down my nose at cashiers and grocery store stockers and warehouse workers and burger flippers... and... and... and...
A terrible analogy or comparison (don't "at" me, I'm a college business major dropout) ... but its like those city people who go out to a "Dude" ranch to be a man or somebody who watched some WW2 themed movie and decides they "need" to enlist to prove themself ... somehow... to... somebody? If you're wanting to be the hero of the story, you're already fucking up. If you're wanting to help a group achieve their goals then there's a chance you'll be doing the right thing.
So, play to your strengths. "If you can't shoot a gun, don't volunteer to be a sharpshooter." Want to help an org out? Figure out what you're good at and what resources you bring to the table then go ask local orgs what they need. If they need what you can bring to the table, start there.