Last night she was coughing in a manner my asleep brain read as "gross", so unconsciously noped the fuck out of there and slept on the sofa. I can't believe my non-awake brain got it.

She tested positive a few hours ago, so now I just have 7 days to worry. I probably have it, I feel a bit off already.

I know that it's more than most people, but she was wearing low quality masks, going to a non-safe dentist at peak times, and avoiding the booster. I've been nicely pushing her for years, and she brings this shit home. She's also sorry, and I say it's fine because I want her to feel better and recover, but secretly I'm fucking raging.

Sorry to rant. Better on Hexbear than out loud.

      • Kuori [she/her]
        ·
        10 months ago

        taking considerable precautions

        wearing low quality masks, going to a non-safe dentist at peak times, and avoiding the booster

        hello??? this is not what "considerable precautions" look like. it's totally valid to be mad at your partner for not taking covid as seriously as they should

        • BovineUniversity
          ·
          10 months ago

          If it's been 4 years and this is the first time they've caught it, they've been taking it more seriously than 99.99% of people. He's lucky to have a girlfriend who's still aware that covid even exists.

          • dat_math [they/them]
            ·
            edit-2
            10 months ago

            He's lucky to have a girlfriend who's still aware that covid even exists.

            Sure, and it's also reasonable to be upset that they won't wear proper n95s and are setting non-emergency dental appointments during expected covid peaks instead of lulls. It's especially reasonable to be upset that they won't get a booster that lowers the likelihood they'll become infectious

          • wopazoo [he/him]M
            ·
            10 months ago

            If it's been 4 years and this is the first time they've caught it

            i know an idiot who licks doorknobs and has caught covid 5 times. OP is doing incredibly well here

          • ButtBidet [he/him]
            hexagon
            M
            ·
            10 months ago

            If you "rarely wear a mask", you really shouldn't be out here whinging. My partner got it from someone like you. Why are you even in this comm??

            • QuietCupcake [any, they/them]
              ·
              edit-2
              10 months ago

              This. The liberalism in this thread is astounding. When did hexbear get so OK with willingly being a disease vector and putting high-risk people's lives at stake just because the status quo says it's cool now?

              Edit: "So many people think it's fake or no big deal." And they're fucking idiots and/or evil. So therefore it's ok to behave like them, shrug it off, and contribute to the problem? Fucking disgusting. tropicalislandvisiter, you should be ashamed of yourself. ButtBidet, you absolutely should not. You are 100% correct for being angry at anyone, partner or otherwise, who doesn't take covid and the very real, severe consequences of getting it and spreading it seriously.

          • Kuori [she/her]
            ·
            10 months ago

            i'm not trying to be especially harsh here, but why are you telling me this?

          • wopazoo [he/him]M
            ·
            10 months ago

            coward. you are the type of person to nervously look around when smoke enters the room but not leave unless others leave first.

      • Hello_Kitty_enjoyer [none/use name]
        ·
        10 months ago

        And he thinks she caught it at the dentist? She was receiving medical treatment, not out partying.

        Exactly, if you don't party, you just don't get sick. idk why scrubs don't use this code.

        • AOCapitulator [they/them, she/her]
          ·
          10 months ago

          yeah and???

          this person made a vent post, specifically they aren't even mentioning this to their partner, so exactly what the fuck is the issue here????

          • DayOfDoom [any, any]
            ·
            10 months ago

            Mod, give me back my post or I will make you the Omelas child in our future society.

            • DayOfDoom [any, any]
              ·
              edit-2
              10 months ago

              I will not let you censor me and my war against the @invaders.

        • AntiOutsideAktion [he/him]
          ·
          10 months ago

          Your brand of socialism looks a lot like eugenics when immune compromised people aren't allowed to live in society because YOU want to be selfish AND MORALIZE IT

    • ButtBidet [he/him]
      hexagon
      M
      ·
      10 months ago

      and you are "fucking raging" at her

      "secretly" you fucking nerd. "and I say it's fine because I want her to feel better and recover, but secretly I'm fucking raging". It's a vent post you absolute knob. None of this way expressed to her. You deliberately misread what I wrote cuz you're a fucking liberal.

    • JohnBrownNote [comrade/them, des/pair]
      ·
      10 months ago

      the partner didn't get a booster and was slacking on other preventative measures lol. definitely legitimate to feel betrayed. where's OP's empathy and compassion? where the fuck was OP's partner's empathy and compassion for the people she spread a disease to?

      • a_blanqui_slate [none/use name, any]
        ·
        10 months ago

        slacking on other preventative measures

        How many people in your area are still even masking? I'm one of probably 5% in my area, so she's going beyond the average. Could she have done more? Sure, but then so could everyone not wearing an NBC suit.

        • Kuori [she/her]
          ·
          10 months ago

          yeah but measuring by what other dipshits are doing is the wrong way to go about it. there's an acceptable level of precaution you can take and she didn't bother. it doesn't matter if everyone around her is a plague rat, there's no excuse to join them

          • a_blanqui_slate [none/use name, any]
            ·
            edit-2
            10 months ago

            there's an acceptable level of precaution

            Yeah, which is always defined in a post-hoc manner in the negative, because eventually almost everyone is going to catch this thing, regardless of their precautions.

            I caught it when one of the KN95's I was wearing turned out to be a counterfeit. If someone came at me for not checking serial numbers and stitching like it's some sort of Beanie Baby, I'd write them off. Was my level of precaution "acceptable"? I don't know, that doesn't mean anything. Was it effective? No.

            • Kuori [she/her]
              ·
              10 months ago

              I caught it when one of the KN95's I was wearing turned out to be a counterfeit.

              i'm sorry that happened to you. you're talking about a totally different situation than OP is though.

              wearing low quality masks, going to a non-safe dentist at peak times, and avoiding the booster

              is a series of intentional choices. you were the victim of an outside actor. the result is ultimately the same but OP's partner could change their behavior and lower the risk for both of them. you could not have reasonably done much of anything in your situation.

              • a_blanqui_slate [none/use name, any]
                ·
                edit-2
                10 months ago

                is a series of intentional choices. you were the victim of an outside actor

                I was the victim of my own lack of due diligence. The CDC had information on their website about checking for counterfeits and I didn't pay it sufficient mind until it was time to pay the piper.

                Was it reasonable for me to have to do that? I don't know, 'reasonable' is defined socially, and at the moment, the vast majority of the population considers mask wearing unreasonable, so I don't know what good 'reasonable' is supposed to do us here.

                Everyone can always do more, but the reality of the situation is largely out of our hands, anyone still going out is only going to be able to shift the probabilities in their favor, but not control the outcomes, so anytime a breakthrough infection occurs despite n precautions, I don't find much value in anger at the fact that n+1 precautions weren't taken.

                I'd understand the OP's anger more if there were some sort of betrayal, where she promised him to take more precautions and then reneged on them, but in reality, she took the precautions she was comfortable with, and despite wishing she'd take more, he took the precautions he was comfortable with, which involved close contact with someone taking fewer precautions. The law of large numbers did the rest.

                • dat_math [they/them]
                  ·
                  10 months ago

                  the vast majority of the population considers mask wearing unreasonable

                  Since when did we distinguish between reasonable and unreasonable by what the majority of liberals in the west think?

                  I don't find much value in anger at the fact that n+1 precautions weren't taken.

                  You don't see value in reducing viral load and thereby reducing the expected severity of the infection, even in a post-hoc sense where you're already infected?

                  there were some sort of betrayal, where she promised him to take more precautions and then reneged on them, but in reality, she took the precautions she was comfortable with, and despite wishing she'd take more, he took the precautions he was comfortable with, which involved close contact with someone taking fewer precautions

                  people in relationships are atomic and it's never acceptable to be upset with one's partner for prioritizing fleeting sensory pleasure over the health of everybody in the relationship

                  • a_blanqui_slate [none/use name, any]
                    ·
                    edit-2
                    10 months ago

                    Since when did we distinguish between reasonable and unreasonable by what the majority of liberals in the west think?

                    That's part of my point. Reasonable is not defined in any meaningful, universalizable sense here. The subjectivity of what is reasonable in this case is part of the problem. Who gets to decide what definition of reasonable everyone has to use is? She did what she thought was reasonable and so did he. Now they're both infected. Doesn't seem like 'reasonable' is worth discussing (cue Anton Chirguh)

                    You don't see value in reducing viral load and thereby reducing the expected severity of the infection, even in a post-hoc sense where you're already infected?

                    Of course I do, that's why I'm spraying ridiculous chemicals in my nostril daily and teaching in an kn95 and bought a $250 air purifier for my office. But I don't see the value in beating myself (or anyone else up) if (and when) those measures prove insufficient. There's always one more step I could take.

                    one's partner for prioritizing fleeting sensory pleasure

                    You and I must have very different dentists.

                    • dat_math [they/them]
                      ·
                      edit-2
                      10 months ago

                      But I don't see the value in beating myself (or anyone else up) if (and when) those measures prove insufficient

                      Nobody's beating anybody up because those particular measures proved inefficient. People are rightfully dumping on someone who did not bother to take the extremely minor precautions that would have better protected their partner, despite their partner's protests

                      one's partner for prioritizing fleeting sensory pleasure

                      How else do you describe insistence on wearing a cloth mask over an n-95 or the insistence on not updating their vaccine? Why could a non-emergency dental appointment not wait 3 months until the next expected covid lull?

                        • dat_math [they/them]
                          ·
                          10 months ago

                          I'm sorry that you've experienced such debilitating outcomes . Everything about this is an astounding injustice that should have been avoided years upstream of your experience.

                          That said, I think you should keep two things in mind. The main result of the paper you linked is that POTS, myocarditis, and the other outcomes studied do occur in people vaccinated at a greater frequency than before those people were vaccinated, but that these rates are still significantly lower than the frequency of occurrence of the same outcomes post sars-cov-2 infection, relative to before sars-cov-2 infection. Specifically, from the summaries of the briefing by the editors and the original Authors' corrections made to the original work,

                          "In the SARS-CoV-2 population, for most conditions studied, post-infection rates were higher than post-vaccination rates (Fig. 1b). For POTS-related diagnoses, the post-infection rate was higher after exposure to SARS-CoV-2 infection (4.86%) than after exposure to vaccination (0.91%) in the analyzed populations. Although any comparison of post-exposure rates should be interpreted cautiously, given the baseline differences in POTS incidence in the two mutually exclusive populations, these results indicate that POTS might be occurring at a higher-than-expected frequency following COVID-19 vaccination, although at an overall rate lower than the frequency of POTS occurring following SARS-CoV-2 infection."

                          This means that unless a subject is able to remain safely isolated from contact such that their actual risk of infection is 0 (and let's be honest, this is not what OP's SO was doing, nor is it practical for the vast majority of people), their risk of developing POTS and myocarditis is lowered by vaccination.

                          Now, returning to the original article, "Apparent risks of postural...", I don't see the numbers you're claiming regarding prevalence. Even if I look for those values in the odds ratios (or the not-so-mathematically-legal comparisons of crude odds ratios across two mutually exclusive populations with no adjustment for confounders, which the authors admit is precluded by their methodology), I see completely different numbers. Did you mean to cite a different work or is my reading comprehension that fucked?

                          Finally, admitting that we can't know your true sars-cov-2 infection history, unless you have negative PCR results the day of and in the days following your September 2023 booster, is it not possible you had an actual covid infection?

                          Regardless, I hope you're able to recover your cardiovascular function and I hope you stay safe out there.

                          • a_blanqui_slate [none/use name, any]
                            ·
                            edit-2
                            10 months ago

                            mind. The main result of the paper you linked is that POTS, myocarditis, and the other outcomes studied do occur in people vaccinated at a greater frequency than before those people were vaccinated, but that these rates are still significantly lower than the frequency of occurrence of the same outcomes post sars-cov-2 infection, relative to before sars-cov-2 infection. Specifically, from the summaries of the briefing by the editors and the original Authors' corrections made to the original work,

                            Myocarditis and dysautomia are actually significantly higher post-vaccine that post-infection, as shown in figure 1. You are right about POTS though.

                            This means that unless a subject is able to remain safely isolated from contact such that their actual risk of infection is 0 (and let's be honest, this is not what OP's SO was doing, nor is it practical for the vast majority of people), their risk of developing POTS and myocarditis is lowered by vaccination.

                            I take your point, but the risk calculus can come out in favor of not vaccinating for any number of small, but non-zero probabilities of catching covid. How meaningfully one can estimate their probability of catching covid is an open question, but you don't need to have a 0% chance in order to make not vaccinating better.

                            , I see completely different numbers. Did you mean to cite a different work or is my reading comprehension that fucked?

                            I'm talking about relative incidences vs odds or odds ratios comparing vaccine and infection groups. Those numbers are what I came up with for myself with my demographic information and vaccine history using a big spreadsheet and Baye's law, but they're not going to be generally exportable. Relative incidences for my age cohort after a second and third dose of Moderna with 56x and 8x, and a bit lower for Pfizer.

                            Everything about this is an astounding injustice that should have been avoided years upstream of your experience.

                            This we absolutely agree on, my point in commenting in the thread is that I don't think there's much value in assigning more than the tiniest smidge of anger or blame at the person who brings this systemic injustice home.

                            • dat_math [they/them]
                              ·
                              edit-2
                              10 months ago

                              Those numbers are what I came up with for myself with my demographic information and vaccine history using a big spreadsheet and Baye's law, but they're not going to be generally exportable.

                              kinda weird for you to cite someone else's work when you report those numbers then no?

                              Myocarditis and dysautomia are actually significantly higher post-vaccine that post-infection, as shown in figure 1. You are right about POTS though.

                              First, are you using "significantly" here to mean statistically significant or as a synonym for "much"? I didn't spot where the authors made any claims about statistical significance of between-group comparisons, though they're very careful to report these for within-group comparisons. Second, even in the figure you cite, the dysautonomia bar is near 2 in both groups. Without more information about how much uncertainty there is in these odds, even if we abuse the statistics to draw an invalid comparison, at best we'd conclude that the post exposure odds of dysautonomia are about the same between groups.

                              You seem to have at least a passing knowledge of probability theory, so please, reread the authors' corrections for their own explanation as to why the comparison that your argument rests on cannot be drawn from the data or results in the work you cited, for POTS, myocarditis, or any of the other outcomes studied.

                              Where did you source your data, are you willing to share them, and are you willing to divulge more on how your own observational experiment was staged/what your methodology was?

                              How meaningfully one can estimate their probability of catching covid is an open question, but you don't need to have a 0% chance in order to make not vaccinating better.

                              You kinda do if vaccination unconditionally lowers the risk of negative outcomes, which more recent followup work has found to be the case for POTS and myocarditis.

                              I don't think there's much value in assigning more than the tiniest smidge of anger or blame at the person who brings this systemic injustice home

                              That's an opinion you should keep to yourself in the comments of a post explicitly created to vent about someone in OP's life deliberately doing less less than OP has asked for to protect themselves and OP.

                              • a_blanqui_slate [none/use name, any]
                                ·
                                edit-2
                                10 months ago

                                kinda weird for you to cite someone else's work when you report those numbers then no?

                                No, you can use the info there and elsewhere to do your own risk calculus. They have their raw counts in the table.

                                First, are you using "significantly" here to mean statistically significant or as a synonym for "much"

                                Both depending on your alpha level; the odds ratio for this specific dataset and viral myocarditis is

                                  Fisher's Exact Test for Count Data
                                
                                data:  matrix(c(3, 12460 - 3, 18, 284592 - 18), ncol = 2)
                                p-value = 0.05583
                                alternative hypothesis: true odds ratio is not equal to 1
                                95 percent confidence interval:
                                  0.7182998 13.0456836
                                sample estimates:
                                odds ratio 
                                  3.807808 
                                

                                That's a pretty large effect size in the sample.

                                Without more information about how much uncertainty there is in these odds, even if we abuse the statistics to draw an invalid comparison, at best we'd conclude that the post exposure odds of dysautonomia are about the same between groups.

                                There is no abuse of statistics or invalid comparison to report an observed sample difference. Sample proportions are unbiased estimators. They observed an higher IRR in the post-vaccine than the post-infection group. It'd be inappropriate to claim with any level of confidence maps to the population proportions, but nobody is doing that.

                                You seem to have at least a passing knowledge of probability theory, so please, reread the authors' corrections for their own explanation as to why the comparison that your argument rests on cannot be drawn from the data or results in the work you cited, for POTS, myocarditis, or any of the other outcomes studied.

                                I'm a statistics professor. Their note on fully adjusted odds comparisons isn't of interest to me doing back of the envelope math for my own personal risk calculations. Unless you're going to posit the the presence of severe confounding factors between the two seperate populations, I'm going to help myself to the null that the randomization limits the effect of the populations being exclusive on the final parameter in question. They helped themselves when they did their between group comparison, and you felt it was worth including and bolding when it supported your argument.

                                these results indicate that POTS might be occurring at a higher-than-expected frequency following COVID-19 vaccination, although at an overall rate lower than the frequency of POTS occurring following SARS-CoV-2 infection.

                                You kinda do if vaccination unconditionally lowers the risk of negative outcomes,

                                Why would you ever use unconditional probabilities for inference when the prevalence of negative outcomes are so heavily stratified? To give you a more extreme example, this is like quoting airplane safety statistics at someone whose on a plane that the wing just fell off of. The statistics about unconditioned airplane safety are true, but meaningless once conditioned with additional information. Specifically, the study you linked to on myocarditis found a large effect with the Moderna vaccine than they did with covid infection.

                                In the studies that have included mRNA vaccine and SARS-COVID-19 myocarditis measured by the same methodology, the incidence rate was increased by 3.5-fold over control in COVID-19 compared with 1.5-fold for BNT162b2 and 6.2-fold for mRNA-1273.

                                When you know which vaccine someone got, the appropriate probability is the conditioned one, not the unconditioned one.

                                To sum up this digression into statistics, if you can estimate the odds ratio of negative outcomes to infection and vaccine (for a specific cause or all cause, that's your choice), conditioned to your specific demographic and health information, you can then calculate a daily risk of COVID infection, pcritical, at which point rolling the dice with covid is actually a safer bet than the vaccine. That might be quite small, and very likely will be for most people, (to the point where the vaccine is a safer bet), but it's not 0. To give you a concrete example; my 95 year old neighbor is unvaccinated. She hasn't been to an indoord public place since February 2020, apart from doctors offices, which she wears an n95 into. She only has me and her daughter come into her house, and everyone will wear an n95. She has a list of drug sensitivities and comorbidities as long as my arm (I do grant that I consider some of these exaggerated). Her daily risk of infection is so vanishingly low, that yeah, in her case, pinfection< pcritical, the probability likely works out in favor of not vaccinating. Do you buy that?

                                That's an opinion you should keep to yourself in a post explicitly created to vent about someone in OP's life deliberately doing less less than OP has asked for to protect themselves and OP.

                                Only if we want them to stay mad at their significant other. He's welcome to be mad about his situation, he should be. But what good outcome do you foresee about reinforcing that anger at an individual and not the fucked up system that put us here.

                                • dat_math [they/them]
                                  ·
                                  edit-2
                                  10 months ago

                                  sorry again for assuming in anger that you were unserious and sorry for being so combative.

                                  There are a lot of people saying things that seem superficially similar to your argument specifically to absolve people for exempting themselves from vaccination out of convenience, and not empirical risk minimization. I think your calculus is mostly reasonable, especially in the example you gave, though I wonder about some of the conclusions in the myocarditis work I linked on the vaccine-induced symptoms resolving faster and being better tolerated by the patients as compared to those of the infection.

                                  Only if we want them to stay mad at their significant other....

                                  It's invalidating, and feels bad to be on the receiving end of "you shouldn't be mad at the thing you're mad at" when venting.

          • WithoutFurtherBelay
            ·
            10 months ago

            yeah but measuring by what other dipshits are doing is the wrong way to go about it

            Kind of but not really, because the more people don’t do the right thing here the harder it is to do the right thing. After a certain point you’re basically expecting people to commit full martyrdom just to be moral people

            • JoeByeThen [he/him, they/them]
              ·
              10 months ago

              After a certain point you’re basically expecting people to commit full martyrdom just to be moral people

              castro-stuff

              • WithoutFurtherBelay
                ·
                edit-2
                10 months ago

                My point isn’t that that isn’t a fair opinion of morality, but that then expecting people to be moral is unrealistic. So you kind of end up having to dilute your own application of morality to even apply that, lest you end up just treating everyone around you as monsters or lesser (not to mention the self-hate that will occur when you inevitably fuck up!).

                So if you do hold that position, it also has to be tempered with an approach that no one is morally perfect, or you’ll end up going insane

                Edit: The only problem with treating everyone around you as lesser is it makes you bitter as shit and… doesn’t do anything. People don’t listen to the person constantly calling them shit people no matter how correct they are.

                • JoeByeThen [he/him, they/them]
                  ·
                  10 months ago

                  That's the point of holding an ideology. An ideology is your line in the sand to measure your progress and setbacks, a way to ensure stability in your actions and thought processes. Every so called "leftist" on this site who isn't masking just followed in the path of liberals they were mocking months earlier. You think that's going to lead anywhere good?

                  This was a vent post by a comrade dealing with some shit in one of the few safe places those of us who are still coviding can come to escape a world (often including our family and friends) that has largely informed us that our lives are trivial and expendable. If somebody needs to come here and be angry or call people 'plague rats' (which, even if it's impolite and dehumanizing, is what they are being) so they can deal with their life, this should be the place they can come do that without getting tone policed.

                  • WithoutFurtherBelay
                    ·
                    10 months ago

                    Im not tone policing anyone, you can use whatever terms you want for people. This is me being a weirdo about abstract ideology and day to day living, I don’t care what kind of venting people do online

      • usa_suxxx
        ·
        edit-2
        11 days ago

        Removed by mod